Mood Music

It can be a challenge, keeping the mood steady, positive, relaxed, especially when there is no particular schedule to keep you on task and distracted.    My mother was probably depressed for most of her life, though she didn’t often succumb to it in any noticeable way.   She did housework, cooked a delicious dinner every night, raised my sister and me, went off to work every day when we were old enough to fend for ourselves.   This routine kept her busy and her mind off the kind of fearful musing that would occupy it when she had too much time alone in her final years.

“I’m afraid your nephew might be subject to depression,” she told me when the kid was about three.   “Sometimes he’s just so down, he won’t look you in the eyes, it seems like he’s sleep walking.  Then we take him to Lester’s and the waitress brings him a cookie when we sit down.   He eats the cookie and suddenly he’s like this” and she does a wild dance.   Eyes suddenly wide open and mischievous, manic grin on his face, moving like Carmen Miranda with a pair of castanets, swinging long arms from side to side, snapping his fingers, mugging.

I wish I had a movie of my mother doing this imitation.  She would often oblige and reprise a remark or imitation and she was not shy in front of the camera.  If only I’d had one when she told me about my nephew’s amusing mood swings.

The challenge for all earthlings, getting the mood music right.  Is it easier to dance with music that moves you?  Of course.  But how to keep the right music playing in your head– or how to learn to dance to music that might not move you as much as other music?

Here’s one to try– patience.   The hardest thing in the world, perhaps, and maybe the most necessary thing.   With patience ridiculously hard things can be accomplished.  Without it easy things are sometimes too hard to master.   The funny thing about patience, or maybe not, it must be absolute to do much good.   Being patient 99 times and enraged one time won’t butter the biscuit, as they say.  

But 99/100 is still a very good score, particularly when we’re talking about something as crucial as patience, so don’t lose patience with yourself.  It is like anything you would master, takes constant practice until you can do it every time.

It’s not like the world is teeming with masters.  But if you would be one, begin learning to master your moods first.

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Comment from discussion of Jim Fallon’s talk on the psychopath’s brain

Oct 8 2011: This is just so wrong. “Brain Damage”? No. How about, evolution! I’m sick of ‘specialists’ trying to talk about us like we have brain damage or must have witnessed some sort of huge disaster in our lives to be void of emotion. Personally, I feel I operate on a higher level. Emotional connections are limitations to greatness and offer no positive effects to life. While it may make you feel better to consider yourself ‘normal’ and see me as a ‘brain damaged psycho’ all you are really doing is swimming through the pool of reality with your eyes closed. Maybe it’s just because those of us with this “brain damage” are able to set goals and don’t get distracted by petty emotional problems like the rest of you. Maybe time for you all to take a look at the evolution chart and have a good hard look at where you think it is headed, because human society no longer needs communities for protection from each other so the emotional ties are the modern version of the appendix; and as such is no longer required.

the video and the other comments are here

Smart ALEC

ALEC,  the American Legislative Exchange Council, is a little known, very influential, law-making and lobbying group.  Funded by money from the Koch Brothers and others of their magnitude, ALEC recruits state law makers to sponsor model legislation written by ALEC.   This model legislation often benefits a certain industry or corporate interest.   One piece of legislation written by ALEC, and the language is virtually identical in the 21 other states that have passed their own version of the law, is Florida’s Stand Your Ground Law.

Under this law a man with a suspicion has a right to get out of his car, with a concealed gun, and confront the person he suspects.  If the person confronted does not treat him respectfully, tells him, say, to go fuck himself, the man with the suspicion is free to raise the ante, even grab the suspicious person.  If an altercation follows, and he feels in danger, he then has the right to kill the person with his gun, particularly in situations where it is his word vs. the dead man’s and there are no other eye witnesses.  True fact.   The NRA loves this law, so do firearm manufacturers.  Here’s some more history of this law.

Food for thought

There are big differences between thoughtless insensitivity and cruelty.   Thoughtlessness happens quite often, and it can be considered an accident when it does.  Mindfulness is rare, we live in a world of clashing, competing distractions.  Everyone is sometimes thoughtless.  The best of us apologize when our thoughtlessness hurts somebody else.

Cruelty is planned to inflict pain.  It is almost always done out of a sense of justice, but there is little justice in cruelty.  Cruelty is dreamed up by people who suffer, and it leads to more suffering.  Bad shit, cruelty.

Aspiration

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When I state my desire to remain mild in the face of aggravation I express an aspiration.  That I’m often able to remain mild is a source of happiness to me.   When I am less than mild, I understand I need to do better.  It is an ongoing aspiration, difficult but well worth cultivating.

I have to believe that as I master remaining mild fewer people will feel compelled to test my resolve.  Like a yogi in the forest calmly regarding an approaching tiger.  Except, that comparing those who provoke to approaching tigers is an insult to a great cat.

A Short Discussion about Proportionality

We have a political culture, for lack of a more accurate term, in which the nuance/complexity of a given issue is generally crushed under the dualistic false equivalency favored by corporate sponsors and those millions who crave certainty and don’t like a lot of confusing detail.  Raise the issue of massive American poverty, the shrinking middle class and the increasing income chasm between the super-wealthy and everybody else?  Class warfare, unless you’re on the winning side, in which case, taste dictates not bringing up the ugly subject.

This automatic black and white analysis with its bogus equivalencies is not done by chance.   It is supported by research– people want their answers simple.   If 99.5% of climate scientists have documented the rise of CO2 in the atmosphere, rising ocean temperatures, the melting of polar ice, the cluster of alarming evidence that we are heading toward a man-made tipping point on the way to massive earth-wide disaster, there is another side to the story.  

For one thing 99.5% is not 100%, let us not forget that.  And then there’s the machine that influences public opinion, and it runs on millions of dollars.  It provides comforting certainty in an uncertain world by confirming what we’d all like to believe.  

The fossil fuel industry and others profiting handsomely from the status quo have the dough and the motivation to dispute burning carbon’s role in Climate Change.  The rest, as they say,  acrimonious, corporately sponsored public debate between Climate Change Skeptics and Global Warming Alarmists.  

Al Gore, with his depressing Power Point presentation?  Alarmist.  Guy with an on-line doctorate from Holy Trinity University reassuring his audience that man’s activities have nothing to do with global warming?  Skeptic.   Now, be logical: who do you believe, an alarmist or a skeptic?

The alarmist is emotional, the skeptic rational.  So who’s more credible on such an important and potentially frightening issue?   Of course, victims of crime tend to be alarmed and emotional, but why bring that up?   The tens of millions spent by the main polluting industries have influenced a large segment of the American populace to believe that the “liberals” and their godless scientists are alarmists perpetrating a hoax.  Manipulating the true facts because they hate our freedom. Case closed, next.

Theory of evolution vs. Intelligent Design– an unproven “theory” vs. God’s infinite wisdom as the ultimate genius designer.   Death Tax vs. Paris Hilton Tax–  a ruthless tax levied on your death by a relentlessly invasive government vs.  a tax effecting only the heirs of the very wealthy, an affirmation of a dead billionaire’s right to pass along every hard-earned cent without inheritance tax.   Collateral Damage vs. War Crimes– bad things happen during war vs. the quaint notion that killing innocent non-combatants is often a war crime.

My father died full of regret that he’d seen the world as black and white, rather than the full-color, vibrant, finely gradated world it truly is.  There are plenty of desperate idiots here, no doubt, and violent people, and even the most evil convince themselves they are doing the right thing.  But the world itself, as God made it, is an endlessly fascinating kaleidoscope of color, a cornucopia of subtle and sometimes wonderful textures, tastes, smells, things to touch.

To proportionality, then.  If someone hurts you, a friend of many years you rarely see, and you are committed to mildness, what to do?   If you never get a chance to talk about it, and are feeling overwhelmed, you might write about it, try to comb through what happened.  I have a blahg with two or three regular readers.  I posted something about inexplicably insensitive behavior I experienced at the hands of two friends recently.   The post may have stung the anonymous persons described unsympathetically.  

The stung party writes something in return, an email from a conspicuously fake address.  Knowing that I am having a devilishly hard time rolling the massive rock of my idealistic program up a hill alone, and how impossible it’s been so far to find true allies, he sends the kind of note I’ve been longing to receive, someone who gets the program’s potential, loves it, offers some of the very expertise I’m seeking.  

And in the body of the email, while he is dancing out, in the manner of the dancing sadist in Reservoir Dogs, on his toes and grooving as he cuts off the ears of his bound, gasoline soaked victim,  this “don’t you wish somebody actually cared like this?”, he turns his stiletto heel once, twice, comparing his fictional self to Mother Theresa, and mocking the program I have been working on, unpaid, for three years, the program I am staking my life on.

A proportional response?   Only if you believe a ten year war in Iraq was a proportional response to the 9/11 attack justified by WMD, Saddam’s connections to Bin Laden, Freedom on the March, Oil to pay for the War, strategic geo-political considerations, Supporting our troops, war on those who hate our freedom, war on terror, war to end war, shock and awe, whatever.   “Whatever”, by the way, is the most convincing rationale of those listed above and one of the few that is not either an outright, intentional lie or a tissue of smelly ruminant feces.

If my friend was hurt by my confusion as to why he’d lie to me, stated so bluntly and inappropriately in this “public” space, there were many less bitchy ways he could have brought my insensitivity to my attention.   But that surely couldn’t have been as much fun as dancing like that.  Hurt real good, must have been very satisfying, even if a bit cowardly.  Rage is rarely pretty, even when it feels justified.

Hammering the Nail

“That did it, that was great, really hammered the old nail home, didn’t it, boys?” he said happily, no longer even conscious of the absurdity of talking to himself.  You have to talk to someone, after all, or you wind up talking to yourself after a while.   Pleasure unshared is only half pleasure, after all.   He had nothing against half pleasure, mind you, he preferred it to everything else, everything but shared pleasure.  

“Share this, wimp,” said the bully, preparing to nip the crippled man’s delight precisely in the proverbial bud.  Nobody celebrating around here — the bully’s credo.   The bully stopped, like an elk putting its nose to the wind, pausing to get the scent, as the crippled man smiled.

“Thank you for sharing,” said the crippled man.  The bully regarded him warily.  “I mean, which hell would be worse?   A hell where you are the only person, for eternity, or a hell where there is one other person there with you, for eternity.”

“That would depend on who the other person is, wouldn’t it?” said the bully.  

“I would say that’s right,” the cripple said cheerily.  “but if there were virtually any other sentient being alive with you, ready to improvise at any time, your torment would be less profound.   You’d be in a much more tolerable hell.”

“Except it would be ten times worse if that person died,” the bully said, thoughtfully.  It is part of the bully’s nature to fear and anticipate all of the worst outcomes.   Bullies are not casually made, an insane sadist has put in hours of hard work to hand craft each of these insatiably angry victimizers.

 “And you can stop referring to me as the ‘crippled man’,” said the crippled man, his jaw determined.  “I don’t have to tolerate that kind of abuse, even from my author.”

Have it your way, crippled man, of course you are correct.  

The crippled man doesn’t have to take any abuse.  Not from me, not from anybody.  He has only to write clearly; in short, punchy sentences.  

But, truly, no reason for any of it, except to reaffirm the trampled value of creativity.   Intense, collaborative creativity is needed in the world, now and going forward, more than at any previous time in human history.   The world will be irrevocably broken for human life very soon.  This is the time for action.  There’s no time to stall.

Not Angry? You’re not paying attention

We live in a world where the technology has finally caught up with the rapaciousness of those who would own everything–1,000,000 stock trades a second, baby.  Yes, phones in every pocket and social media helped organize the “Arab Spring.”   Yes, governments and their contractors are now mining every bit of data to prevent any kind of repeat of that.   Yes, bread and circuses, the old panen et circenses, is now 24/7, in your pocket, and everybody you know is preoccupied most of the time.

Q:  What are you doing Friday?

A;  I’m working til late Friday, then to the hospital for an all-nighter.

Q: What time do you want to hang out Friday?

Hello. hello?  

I’m sorry, what was I saying?  Grateful for the handle of that title above I say again– if you’re not angry, you’re not paying attention.

Financial collapse caused, 100%, by the rapaciousness of those who would own everything.   Their appetite is limitless, as is their disdain for fairness or sustainability.  Their power to make and break laws is pretty impressive too.   So billions were made by a few, and millions by their assistants, as the poor got poorer.  Now we have a fiscal cliff we are being herded toward.   Instead of victimizing the rich, let’s all share the burden.   We raise the top tax rate on the wealthiest by almost 10%.   The rich pay most of the taxes already, plus they’re job creators.  Sacrifice must be shared.  So we raise the payroll tax on all workers, by 48%.  Student loan interest rates at 20 times what institutions pay to borrow money?  Fair is fair, you know what I’m saying?

Wars based on lies, creating thousands of traumatic brain injuries, amputations, suicides, refugees, dead children, kicked down doors, raped and beaten women– support our troops is the only answer for that.  Torture?   We call it doing the right thing now, the dark side is ugly, but that’s where we are.  Privacy?   If you’ve got nothing to hide, pull down your pants and your underwear and let us see.

If you’re not angry, baby, you are not paying attention.  If you are paying attention, and you’re not angry, you have stopped feeling in a big way.  Now the thing is, what is the productive way to use that anger?

Manifesto

As promised, but different than what I imagined I’d write.

I believe in the importance of  fun.   Hardworking people sometimes think this is frivolous on my part, a desire not to work, an immature love of play.   I do quite a bit of work, but I do very much love to play.  Playing together is one of the most important things in life.

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Laughter cannot be overrated as a release valve, restorer, tonic, heart medicine, fun. People do not laugh enough when they are under stress, facing terrible odds.  More humor is called for.  Under my regime, you laugh or you die.

Creativity is crucial to a happy life, connected or not to any monetary calculus.   Our society quantifies talent and puts a monetary value on creation, killing a great deal of creativity.   Makes no difference to me, start playing,  I’ll jump in.  The animal is the same whenever it appears.

You don’t hear a tree fall in the forest?  I won’t let it upset me.

Canaries who sing in coal mines often sing in minor keys.  Picture a gypsy guitarist accompanying a canary, two souls longing around a campfire, only the canary is in a cage and going back down into the coal mine tomorrow.  The caravan will be forced to move on the day after that.  Sorrow and beauty often go hand in hand.

Mariano by Andy 7-19-13

Mildness is better than anger.   Remain mild even when you have the right to be angry — that is the right path.    Violence is common, terrible, rarely the solution.  Nobody should consider violence before considering everything else many times.   Countries murder wholesale and call it war, ruled by a body of laws called The Laws of War, but that does not make it right, except, perhaps, for those who profit by the sale of this large scale killing.

Do not forget to show gratitude.   Gratitude and sincere appreciation are like water and sunlight to seedlings.   “Thank you,” is so easy to say, as is something like “this was really delicious” or “you are very kind.”  Cost you nothing, but they are so valued by the people you give them to.