Category Archives: “funny”

The solution to our billionaire infestation

Give them swords and shields, unleash wild beasts among them, and let the truly greatest one among them emerge victorious.  I’d pay $500 to sit in the worst seat in the stadium for that show. 

In the end, we’d know who is truly the most noble genius among this class of incomparably noble geniuses.  And nobody would own the Supreme Court any more, or be able to unleash a crippling terrorist attack on the world economy from inside the lunatic fringe in one chamber of Congress, or insist on maintaining a poverty minimum wage of $7.25/hr. unchanged in decades of inflation, while manipulating the least  critical of faithful, white Christians to believe they are doing these things on behalf of Jesus Christ, their lord and savior, and the sacred unborn.

Pain meds and personality changes

I had my left knee replaced fifteen days ago in a procedure so traumatic, apparently, that the anesthesiologist administers a drug that induces amnesia to erase the entire process as though it never happened (except for waking up with a new knee and a lot of pain). They gave me oxycodone and tylenol for the pain.

Oxycodone (and the entire mass murdering, philanthropic Sackler family should all go to actual hell — editor’s note) works to significantly dampen much of the pain about 70% of the time. The other 30% of the time it just addles your brain, dredges up your lowest impulses while making you irritable and subject to tantrums; it literally turns you into Rush Limbaugh (who was famously, and criminally, addicted to it).

Two nights after my surgery, as the pain continued to burn full blast in my knee, after a full, maximum dose, I found myself angrily rattling some papers in front of an imaginary microphone improvising a fast-paced racist, misogynistic, homophobic tirade in a kind of growly pirate voice. Through my haze I could see that it was terrifying poor Sekhnet, my loving caretaker. Why anyone would become addicted to this drug is a mystery to me, unless you are a Presidential Medal of Freedom awarded genius with talent on loan from God Himself, I suppose.

I called the surgeon’s PA the next day and told her this. She laughed at the Limbaugh bit (I wasn’t laughing, I had a paper in my hand, about to start rattling) and prescribed an alternative opioid, dilaudid, generic name hydromorphone. I didn’t find it quite as effective against the pain, at least not at first, but eventually switched over to it. I was thankful to no longer feel like Rush Limbaugh, and found, to my surprise, that it was a relief feeling like the MyPillow Guy…

Now you know the rest of the obvious story…

Rather than fanning the vague and hateful lie that there is widespread voting fraud, on all sides, and here’s another example of it, reports should always mention that voter fraud in the US is fleetingly, statistically insignificantly rare, except for the Stop the Steal crowd. 

Here’s what is missing from the report on the previous post, and, no, it is not members of both parties who are warned by judges not to intimidate witnesses at their trials, that’s a MAGA/Mafia/Nazi thing.  Buried toward the end of the article published in the Times Union, dateline Troy, NY:

Crist is a former news reporter and longtime GOP political operative in Rensselaer County who has wielded enormous influence in local politics and for many years has been McLaughlin’s political confidant. Wallace is a former Republican legislative aide in the state Assembly and Senate who also has a private political consulting business. Gordon is a former Troy mayoral candidate and a member of the North Greenbush Town Board.

The charges include allegations that the trio conspired to use their official positions to violate the constitutional rights of subordinate county employees to intimidate them into requesting and filing absentee ballots, according to federal prosecutors.

source

What a fucking shock.

Unregulatable Second Amendment freedom

The sacred Second amendment reads:

 “A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.” 

Or to those looking up the text of the sacred Second amendment on the internet, the first thing you will read is the interpretation of the “Originalist” Supreme Court who decided 5 to 4 what it actually means in the original intent of the holy, infallible framers

Unconnected to service in a militia, obviously, because if they’d meant the government shall not restrict the ownership of guns for members of a well regulated militia, they would have so stated, obviously, duh!

And it’s worth remembering, Antonin Scalia was a genius.