Category Archives: “funny”

Very, very stable genius

Trump’s new open hostility to Catholics is kind of funny, when you consider that his vice president, JD Vance, converted and was baptized into the Catholic faith in 2019, and Little Marco, his diminutive Secretary of State, was born Catholic and has not converted to anything but Trump sycophant. Also Catholic: Clarence Thomas and Samuel Alito, his most ardent judicial ass-lickers, outside of Aileen Cannon, who is silent on whether she’s Catholic or another kind of Christian. Second most corrupt AG in US history Bill Barr and architect of the Federalist Society 6-3 Supreme Court majority, Leonard Leo, HUGE, very religious conservative Catholics, (as well as militant theo-fascists).

Trump made a blasphemous Easter Sunday genocide threat, using the fucking f-word and insulting all Christians while also mocking adherents of Allah, then elegantly followed up a few days later, when– as the NY Times styled it, he “attacked the pope.” Then, while Trump recently sent Vance on a farcical “diplomatic” mission designed to fail, with the two filthy rich idiot real estate moguls Iran indicated were not acceptable negotiators, he sat with the man who should have been his top diplomat, Secretary of State, National Security Advisor, ender of USAID and keeper of the National Archives, Little Marco, at an Ultimate Fighting Championship match in Miami. Meanwhile, posting shit like this:

Me as a doctor, you fucking idiots.

(a doctor bringing Epstein back from death, Jimmy Kimmel noted the patient’s resemblance to JE the other night)

and this old favorite:

This is obviously my Star Wars costume, you fucking dummies.

In his politest manner, he tells the pope to go fuck himself, or things are going to go badly for him. Nice papacy you got there, pal, thanks to me. Would be a shame if you forced me to put my boot up its ass. His loyal Catholics are all silent, while Jesus curses them for their “transactional” Christianity.

No more stable genius ever had himself done up as a “pope” or a more magical “doctor”. You can take that to the bank, or the bankruptcy court.

I never met any of these people. HOAX, witch hunt!

Ah, for Christ’s sake…

Until Trump there was never a stable genius president who attacked numerous foes daily. Not sure an American president has ever attacked the Pope, (possibly during the heyday of the second Ku Klux Klan in the 1920s, when hatred of Catholics raged) but this president is undeniably special. Heather:

Trump tonight posted on social media, in part: “I don’t want a Pope who criticizes the President of the United States because I’m doing exactly what I was elected, IN A LANDSLIDE, to do, setting Record Low Numbers in Crime, and creating the Greatest Stock Market in History.” Trump suggested the Pope was elevated to the papacy only “because he was an American, and they thought that would be the best way to deal with President Donald J. Trump. If I wasn’t in the White House, Leo wouldn’t be in the Vatican.” He wrote “Leo should get his act together as Pope, use Common Sense, stop catering to the Radical Left, and focus on being a Great Pope, not a Politician.”

Today is Orthodox Easter, and about 45 minutes after attacking the Pope, Trump posted an image of himself in the place of Jesus, apparently healing a sick man in a bed, surrounded by a soldier, a nurse, a woman praying, and an older man. Behind him are the Statue of Liberty, the Lincoln Memorial, and a giant American flag, while in the sky are two eagles, three fighter jets, soldiers, and what seems to be a monster.

Amid popular revulsion at what people are calling heresy and blasphemy, former U.S. representative Marjorie Taylor Greene wrote: “It’s more than blasphemy. It’s an Antichrist spirit.”

A minute after posting the image of himself as Jesus, Trump posted an image of a Trump tower on the moon.

source

Negotiators sent by the Orange two year-old “fail”

Iran had already indicated they would not further “negotiate” with real estate mogul/pawns Jared Kushner and Steve Witkoff.   Trump told Iran “fuck you, that’s exactly who you get, assholes,” sending those two nincompoops, supplemented by the experienced, steady hand of the always truthful JD Vance.  JD not long ago reasonably feared Trump was our American Hitler.  Now he serves his authoritarian leader, no matter what.   Not surprisingly, the Iranians found no reason to trust the American “negotiators.”   Hard to blame them, however evil their theocracy also is.  

Here’s what Vance was spouting on the campaign trail about Democratic presidents and stupid wars, when he was not lying about brown people eating white people’s pets:

Of course, there is nothing “stupid” about Trump’s murderous rampage against Iran, whether he can give a reason for it or not. Reasons are for losers, violent, lethal action for winners. One day of failed negotiations proves, to the remaining MAGA base, that Iran is a sick, dangerous, totally obliterated theocracy, “Allah be praised” — to reprise the repeated sick, edgy, blasphemous “burn” of our epically furious two year-old-in-chief. Call it “Operation Shut The FUCK UP, Melania!” Speaking of sick burns, whoever wrote this line for Melania’s shock and awe press conference is a genius “I am not Epstein’s victim. Epstein did not introduce me to Donald Trump.” 

Trump’s instinctual, reptilian survival reasoning is always impeccable. In this case “fuck Melania and her big fucking mouth, I’m using force to shut down the Strait of Hormuz and provoke an international standoff, provoke the rest of the world into military action to stop me, because I fucking can and because, fuck Epstein, when I had him suicided, after we managed to get that French fuck who was going to testify against him suicided in a French prison, that should have been the end of this bullshit hoax that never happened. Those little whores are all liars.”

Likewise, there is no reason to fear what these “transactional” mercenary servants of a criminally insane, demented psychopath will do in our name, except for fear itself, as was famously said in another fearful moment for our nation.  We will get through this fascist threat together, or not.  Victor Orban’s loss today is encouraging –as is him immediately covering defeat– hero that he is to Vance, Trump and our American global authoritarians.  All we can do here is organize, communicate, dissent, refuse to be quiet about the irrational, dangerous actions of our American Hitler.  Isn’t that right, JD?

“I am not Epstein’s victim. Epstein did not introduce me to Donald Trump.”

JD Vance, untruthful? Me, sarcastic?

It’s hard to believe the vice president of the United States would lie, isn’t it? Is not as if he admitted to repeatedly lying about Haitian immigrants (in an Ohio town whose economy they had saved) eating their white neighbors’ dogs, eating their cats. He explained, after his remarks were shown to be false, that his statements, while not truthful, were to wake up Americans to the fact that we are under existential threat from brown people who are not white Christian nationalists. His expressed fear that Donald Trump is the American Hitler, (not an unreasonable fear, actually), yielded to his overweening political ambitions. To put it bluntly, the man tends to be untruthful, when he makes statements of any kind.

Vice President J.D. Vance said there was a “legitimate misunderstanding” about whether the ceasefire included Lebanon. “We never made that promise,” he said. But in fact, Pakistani prime minister Shehbaz Sharif, who posted the terms of the ceasefire on Tuesday, noted that the agreement did include a ceasefire in Lebanon. He tagged Vance in the post. source

Another big lie is almost certainly under way [in Orban’s campaign in Hungary]. While Vance was in Budapest, he claimed that the Ukrainian secret services interfere in elections on the United States and Hungary — an activity that is unknown to the scholarship of the subject, to put it mildly. This was reinforcing a campaign message of Orbán: the tall tale that the Ukrainian secret services had somehow penetrated all of Hungary and were preparing a systematic electoral falsification. When, as i likely, Orbán loses the vote count, he will probably revive this story in some form. Americans might endorse it; they might copy it themselves this fall. It is a comfortable story for Trump and Vance because it inverts the historical fact: that Russia always tries to tilt elections their way. source

The world according to Rupert Murdoch

In Murdoch’s world you’re either a capitalist who doesn’t mind fascism if it lets you make more money or you’re a violent advocate of communist revolution. Black and white thinking is the sole intellectual mode of fascists (and hardline communists too, by the way). If you protest a criminally insane president’s destructive actions — communist or dupe of communists! If you publicly oppose fascism — ANTIFA TERRORIST! The First Amendment, with its protection of political dissent, makes this country ripe for communist agitation and overthrow with its license for every commie in the world to denounce the president and his agenda. Grrrr, grrrr… fucking commies…

Without (or with) irony, Murdoch refers to spineless contortionist Little Marco Rubio as “Florida man”. Usually the term refers to someone who got a body part removed (or worse) as the result of a drunken provocation of an alligator. In this case we have the two Republican “front-runners” legging it toward the finish line for who will succeed Mr. Trump in 2028, after Trump’s maker calls him for his eternal reward. Got to love the charisma exuded in that photo of soul dead, shape shifting opportunist J.D. Vance.

Congressional Republicans showing spine, 2026 edition

A criminally insane madman, raised by a psychopath father who demanded his boys be “killers” (note: Frederick Christ Trump, the president’s father, was conceived in Bavaria before his father was deported from Germany for evading military service — Fred Trump, born here, was an anchor baby) is in charge of the world’s most powerful military. He runs it like dad’s second choice for heir used to run the family business, as an absolute ruler, even if a figurehead while the old man was still running things.

If his bones tell him to do it, he won’t hesitate to commit the military might of the US to whatever his bones tell him must be done. He will act — boldly, impulsively, unaccountably — even if the Constitution places democratic limits on his actions. If 100, or 1,000, or 100,000, or any number at all, American and foreign, have to die, so be it. The cause is not important. War is war, and as Mr. Trump has already stated, it “often” involves killing. Congress has the power to stop this madness by withholding funds for further war, but Republicans have been too afraid of their mad, vengeful leader to oppose him. The other day two Republicans in Congress attempted to stand up straight, a remarkable thing to see.

Yesterday, after a classified briefing, House Armed Services Committee chair Mike Rogers (R-AL), who backed the Iran strikes, told reporters that Congress members “want to know more about what’s going on, what the options are, and why they’re being considered,” adding, “And we’re just not getting enough answers on those questions.” Chair of the Senate Armed Services Committee Roger Wicker (R-MS) commented: “I can see why he might have said that.”

Wow.

While Trump continues with the cute answers to serious questions, when he’s not snapping reporters’ heads off or making violent threats, (he makes the best threats), along with being adorable with the cute remarks:

. . . Trump simply began the Iran war without consultation with Congress, and administration officials have refused to appear at hearings, instead briefing Congress behind closed doors. At an annual fundraising dinner for Republican members of Congress, Trump appeared to acknowledge he was violating the Constitution. He spoke of the “tremendous success” of what he called his “military operation” in Iran. He continued: “I won’t use the word war ’cause they say if you use the word war, that’s maybe not a good thing to do. They don’t like the word war because you are supposed to get approval. So I will use the word military operation.” source for both quotes

Adorable, Donnie.

Shit sandwich

I love the way the New York Times implies that Trump, who is as empathetic and ethical as his long-time friend Jeff, really wanted to, and actually did, give masses of Americans significant tax breaks, when 99% of the tax cuts went to people who are already billionaires. You’ve got to love the poker face on that Grey Lady…