14th Amendment, Phooey!

After the Civil War Congress amended the Constitution to abolish slavery (13th), extend equal protection of the laws to all citizens (14th) and ensure that male former slaves and previously freed black men could vote (15th). Each of these Amendments had a loophole or two that could be quickly exploited by the enemies of equality under law.

The thirteenth left open a loophole that allows the involuntary servitude of convicts, which has come in very handy for American business (and is indispensable to the State of California in fighting increasingly severe wildfires). The fourteenth was almost immediately judicially nullified, for use by individuals, for close to a century, (though corporate “persons” made excellent use of it all along) and states were allowed to apply equal protection and due process of law as they saw fit, under “States Rights”. As for the Fifteenth, well, states that didn’t want “black” voting were very creative in coming up with ways of legally quelling it, when they weren’t simply terrorizing potential voters by letting people lynch them.

There is this third section of the 14th Amendment, the amendment intended to extend the protected rights of federal citizenship (specifically the Bill of Rights) to the citizens of all states and has, since 1963, been used countless times to vindicate the rights of those unconstitutionally screwed by state and local governments nationwide. Section three was included because men who had engaged in violent insurrection against the United States were coming back into Congress, and fighting to be heard in lawmaking. We didn’t want blood-smeared traitors, who had recently endorsed the butchering of our army, sitting in the national legislature, making speeches for the slaveholders who’d so recently been robbed of so much of their wealth after losing the war.

Section three of the Fourteenth Amendment is a historical footnote today, a legal oddity that spells out no procedure, but is intriguing nonetheless in light of the continued endorsement of violent insurrection (“this is a moment for unity and healing” [1] “let insurrectionist bygones by bygones, the president learned his lesson” [2] “don’t divide us further, libtard cucks!” [3]) by many members of the Republican party. Like the ones who voted yesterday against Congress officially asking Pence to invoke the 25th Amendment to remove an increasingly desperate, out-of-control president whose predictably wild criminality, including calls seeking to rig the vote count and to violent insurrection inside the Capitol by extremist militias, has soared as uncontrollably as the rampaging pandemic he bears not a whit of responsibility for. If a few breaks had gone differently (for instance if hero Capitol cop Eugene Goodman had not led rioters away from an unsecured door of the Senate chamber) there would likely have been a hostage situation in the Capitol. I wonder how Republican unifiers would have spun Mike Pence swinging from a gibbet [4].

Well, as always, you be the judge. Here’s that pertinent part of the 14th Amendment, see if it applies to anyone you can think of.

Section 3:

No person shall be a Senator or Representative in Congress, or elector of President and Vice President, or hold any office, civil or military, under the United States, or under any State, who, having previously taken an oath, as a member of Congress, or as an officer of the United States, or as a member of any State legislature, or as an executive or judicial officer of any State, to support the Constitution of the United States, shall have engaged in insurrection or rebellion against the same, or given aid or comfort to the enemies thereof. But Congress may by a vote of two-thirds of each House, remove such disability. 

[1]

The federal government has had no response whatsoever to Trump’s attempted putsch the other day. Silence from the federal government — no statement from any federal authority. So, you know, we can all move on, because Mr. Trump is quietly heading to Alamo, Texas, to run his perfectly appropriate insurrection from there, as the FBI suddenly gets busy tracking rightwing militia (domestic terrorist) plans for the coming week. Too bad about Pence, though. Let’s have unity and healing, y’all!

[2]

No reason to make people feel bad, we’ve heard apologies from some who were arrested after storming Congress chanting “Hang Mike Pence”. They admit they made a mistake. They regret their actions, or at least they say they do after they’re arrested, some of them. Very fine people, on all sides, on all sides!

[3]

After all, as our raging president continues to claim, this election was stolen from him by the traitorous radical Left, who are intent on dictatorship after mobilizing the Blacks, the Mexicans, Muslims, the Chinese, Iran, the Mass Media, Mass Transit, transsexuals, homosexuals, homophiles, homophones, atheists, secular humanists, Communists, Leninists, Socialists, Liberals, Maoists, Trotskyites, disloyal Republicans, Jews, Puerto Ricans, Samoans, and the cannibal pedophile elites who run Hollywood and the Democrat [sic] party. They know who they fucking are!

[4]

How is it that Congress has not passed rules for mask wearing in the House and Senate? Several members of Congress were infected with COVID during the lockdown when Congress was under siege by an armed right-wing mob. They were infected by Republican colleagues who refused to wear masks. Representative Pramila Jayapal, who was infected by these proud “anti-maskers”, reported that they mocked the attempts of others to give them masks. How, even now, that is there no rule in place? Trumpist contrarianism, yo. Time for unity and healing, bitches.

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