Only in America, folks

Fortunately for me, I write quickly.   I dreaded having to write this note, but it took me only a few minutes once I sat down to do it.   Nobody should have to write this kind of note to their fucking doctor.  

Matt:

When I was “50 years young”  (12 years ago) you introduced yourself to me as Matt and gave me a card with a number where I could text you, and you were very good about responding to the one or two I sent.   Your current card has only a generic email address [1], so I am sending this there, to the attention of Glenice, who was kind enough to confirm that I should have been able to see you during my October 25th consultation with you.

On that date I saw only Nancy S______, ANP, who ordered tests, prescribed Flomax and told me I have to begin taking it immediately.  She also instructed me how to stand so that she could give me a prostate exam, though I had one quite recently and we agreed not to do another at that time.

On October 5, 2018 my urine was a brownish ketchup color.  On the following day I painlessly passed a blood clot, and that was the end of the blood tinged urine.

Screen shot 2018-11-11 at 3.16.20 PM.png

Nancy informed me that this is called gross hematuria, a condition the Mayo clinic states is sometimes impossible to determine the cause of.   She ordered a CAT scan, which I had on October 30, and a cystoscopy.   She also told me I’d retained a few ounces of urine in my bladder and had to begin taking Flomax, no matter the side effects I complained of the last time I took it, years ago.   The cystoscopy was scheduled for November 8.  A few hours before my appointment I had a call from your office rescheduling the exam for December 6.  I called Glenice who promised me a return call from you that I have not yet had.

I understand the imperatives of corporate medicine, but I don’t think you could defend this to your urology students as good medical practice.   I have no results from the CAT scan, have been given no medical opinion, have not seen the doctor I paid to see on October 25, have had no return call from him after the cystoscopy was cancelled.   Might the CAT scan results eliminate the need for the cystoscopy?  What, if anything, did the CT scan show?    Is this isolated instance of gross hematuria something I can safely put in the rearview mirror or should I be worried about the possibility that it may be a sign of late stage prostate or bladder cancer?  

I am currently being treated for idiopathic membranous nephropathy and my initial call was to my nephrologist.   He told me hematuria is not a known effect of my kidney disease and said I should call my urologist.  I got the earliest appointment with your office.  A month later I still know exactly nothing.

You can email me, text me at ______, or call that number any time after 1 pm. I don’t think you — or anyone–  would be satisfied with this kind of treatment from your doctor (leaving aside the very long waits for a blood test– which neglected to include the creatine test required for the CT scan– the appointment with your ANP, the hours waiting for the CT scan, the month long postponement of a diagnostic test).   Please advise.

Eliot

(I discovered, after writing it, that there is no place to actually fucking send it… you’ve got to admire corporate medicine, baby.  During regular office hours I can call and possibly even get an email address to send it to)

USA!  USA!!!!

 

[1]  Correction,  one always has to read the fine print carefully when dealing with corporate vampires.   There is no email contact information available for the department of urology, this is where the URL on the business card takes you, to the corporate not-actual-contact page of these Hippocratic oath taking corporate dickheads.   I can’t wait to get the hospital’s next solicitation letter telling me about the wonderful, selfless work they are doing, without profit, for the community.

 

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