You’re goddamned right we’re exceptional, this is the only wealthy country in the world where every old person is guaranteed the right to have no teeth. Every American knows that teeth and dental care are no more a part of a person’s health than the ability to see, no matter what the so-called scientific community might have to say. Insurance carriers have the last word here and even government insurance, unless you’re dirt poor and qualified for Medicaid, does not cover so-called dental and so-called vision.

Two things that rarely afflict seniors anyway, losing teeth and failing eyesight. We salute you here, from the land of the toothless and the home of the blind.

If you live long enough, in the land of freedom loving mass shootings.