Just take a look at this “woke” pro-witch brochure for the Salem Witch Museum that claims to have evidence that the witches legally executed by the pious Pilgrims who founded our Christian Nation were innocent! Alito would be furious to see this kind of leftist secular propaganda and historical revisionism disseminated to innocent tourists, presumably also to impressionable young children who would read things like “19 innocent people were hanged in Salem in 1692″

The Puritans were a famously severe fundamentalist Protestant cult that fled from England because they were being persecuted and risked death sailing to the New World in search of religious freedom, the story goes. They were so strict and devout that they carefully rooted out any signs of devilry, dissent, heresy or Independence in their midst. Religious fundamentalists do not allow devilry, independence of thought or disobedience to God’s patriarchal will, all sinful.

So think about it, were these goddamn witches really so goddamned innocent? Sam Alito sure would give you an angry argument about it, based on the teachings of 17th century scholar of devilry, witches and jurisprudence Lord Hale (see repeated citations to this expert in the Alito draft opinion leaked the other day).

Devils and darkness!