Jeff Bezos — GENIUS monetizer!

I wrote this sometime last week and forgot about it. Since then Jeff Bezos stepped aside to let his handpicked successor, the sassy Mr. Jassy, become CEO of the world’s most lucrative business. Bezos, perhaps the greediest prick in the world, has become my image (along with supremely smug Facebook boss Mark Zuckerberg) for what’s wrong with the neoliberal “Free Market.” Like philanthropist/monopolist Bill Gates, these guys have made a career of crushing or buying out anyone seeking to do anything similar to what they did. As they went, an army of lawyers fought anti-trust lawsuits and brought other lawsuits to crush as many people as necessary to maximize their already unimaginable wealth and power.

And again, the personal is political. Think of any tyrannical personality type you have known. Were they ever generous? In my experience, taking from you, making you surrender something, is as important to them as whatever they gain. Bezos, with his $70,000,000,000 (Billion) in pandemic profits, has long refused to let his workers unionize. Why should unskilled workers making a generous, voluntarily paid $15/hr. in warehouse sweatshops tell Bezos how much personal profit he can make from the genius money machine he built exploiting the laziness of American shopping addicts? It’s unAmerican! No Robber Baron would have stood for it, neither will Jeff.

Here’s what I wrote the other day:

A friend, given the option to give a gift subscription when she purchased one, signed me up for a Washington Post digital subscription. I’m glad to have another news source on my phone, particularly one that, like the NY Times, breaks important investigative stories from time to time.

Whatever else we may say about these newspapers and the status quo enforcing beliefs of their wealthy owners, they occasionally do very important work. I installed the Washington Post app on my phone, which buzzed at 9:18 pm to alert me to important “breaking” news, to wit:

Very important to have this crucial, aggravating news beamed to me at 9 pm, with a notification beep to interrupt whatever else I was using my phone for, in case I missed the earlier news conference during which Nancy Pelosi reported her discomfort serving with House Member “enemies within” who actively support the former president’s baseless conspiracy theory about a stolen election and his attempt to violently nullify the stolen election

For some reason, the Washington Post reports, Pelosi had no healing words towards her colleagues who staunchly oppose Trump’s impeachment (on transparently bogus “constitutional grounds” mind you). Pelosi is upset that several of her most extreme and defiant Trumpist colleagues appear to have been involved in the planning and support of the violent insurrection, in addition to mockingly spreading COVID-19 to colleagues during the siege and lockdown, refusing to wear masks until a fine was eventually imposed (to be taken directly from their paychecks), and who now refuse to go through a metal detector put in place to prevent handguns from being brought to the floor of Congress by these same violence-defending extremists.

Who would have known any of this without that innovative genius Jeff Bezos and his state of the art Artificial Intelligence? Jeff Fucking Bezos, among the greediest and most selfish pieces of shit on the planet, shining a light into the darkness where democracy has slinked off to die. (“Democracy dies in darkness” was a Bezos innovation after he bought the newspaper).

Leaving no space unmonetized that can enhance his “brand” and increase his already obscene wealth, at the expense of everyone else, Bezos tirelessly soldiers on. His cause? Being the first man to a trillion dollars in personal wealth. Hopefully I can opt out of these “notifications”– though knowing the thoroughness of the obsessive control freak Bezos, probably not…

WaPo zombie executive editor being interviewed by a zombie journalist on the Clinton News Network:

Now do you see what Trump is talking about?

Back to February 8th:

There was a nice article in today’s New York Times that gives some more insight into the calculating, predatory business practices of this great man who has stepped to the side (as the shit seems likely to hit the fan for him and other billionaire tech anti-trust law evaders) to spend more time on his “philanthropy” (I wouldn’t be surprised if he donates $1,000,000,000 to causes near and dear to him!) and his plans to monetize space travel.

While Amazon has always been a super rapacious company with tentacles in everything lucrative, why dwell on the small stuff, like the media smear campaign Bezos’s public relations department launched against a worker seeking health safety measures in the warehouse where he worked when the pandemic was first raging out of control? After Amazon fired they guy they set a media hit team after him to discredit the loser malcontent in the eyes of the public. It’s not like 20,000 Amazon workers came down with COVID-19 due to the highly infectious work conditions. Oh wait, that’s the number the NY Times reported today. Hey, shit happens, we’re all humans…

The personal is political. Would you expect generosity from Jeff Bezos? Only if he was able to bask in the gratitude of the recipient, I suppose. But generosity like acknowledging that his vast fortune is built on the hard work of his underpaid workers, subject to his whims about what is best for them? Not bloody likely. I’ll take my multibillionaires with a little more concern for the people they exploit.

Fuck off, Jeff, and thanks for the considerate notification beeps you keep sending to my phone alerting me to things I already know.

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