Science Fiction Trump-style

Embarrassing and frustrating as it is to live in a nation where 74,000,000 votes were cast by citizens who wanted to reelect the worst president in US history, a man we benignly refer to as a transactional narcissist (and even a malignant narcissist), and as inured as I am to it, mostly, sometimes an item in the news just hammers me in the face. There was the recent revelation of a massive Russian hack of American government and businesses (Pompeo announced it was Russia, Trump tweeted “fake news” it was probably China, LOL!), the lie immediately told by Trump’s recently inserted loyal appointees at the Department of Defense about an “agreement” to suspend national security briefings with the Biden transition team (for the Christmas break), the Senate majority’s partisan refusal to provide help for tens of millions of suffering Americans as Merry Christmas 2020, and a tidal wave of American homelessness, approaches (while Mitch and friends doggedly fight for more corporate Christmas gifts), our steady, upward succession of new, daily world records for COVID-19 infections and deaths (as emails come out that deliberate infection of millions was Trump’s plan all along), our raging president is delusional in his bunker, still wildly insisting all this news is complete bullshit. I digested all that, to the extent one can. Then, a nonchalant hammer to the old face:

On Friday, we learn, Trump had Mike “Lock Her UP!” Flynn and his insane attorney Sidney Powell at the White House (with demented Trump dead-ender Rudy Giuliani participating by phone) for a powwow on how to keep Trump in power in spite of a pesky election loss of over 7,000,000 votes (and a 74 vote Electoral College margin) and no path remaining through the courts or Congress.

General Flynn, you will recall, was fired (with regret, by Mr. Trump) for lying to Mike Pence about illegal contacts with the Russians and then was prosecuted and admitted guilt in federal court, for repeating that lie to the FBI and a couple of other little white lies he needed to tell in order to get security clearance for his job as National Security Adviser. But otherwise, a fine and upstanding patriotic American hero! Trump always says what a good guy Flynn is. He ought to know.

Sidney Powell, you may recall, took over Flynn’s federal case and sought to have his guilty plea thrown out. Working closely with Bill Barr, her collaboration with the Bagpiper led to Barr withdrawing the charges against Flynn (Flynn’s several lies, Barr decided, were “immaterial” and therefore non-criminal — the real criminals were the partisan liars at the FBI who illegally trapped him into lying). Barr attempted to have the case dismissed without allowing the judge to hold a hearing before dismissing the case (the law allows a judge to hold a hearing if he’s not satisfied by the papers submitted). Barr and Powell insisted the judge instantly dismiss the case, as a matter of law. When the judge refused they sought a writ of mandamus, an extremely rare form of relief only given when no other legal avenue remains, to force the judge to dismiss the case against Flynn, along with his two guilty pleas. They got the writ, from a Trump appointee, on shamelessly partisan quasi-legal grounds (judge was trying to unconstitutionally “usurp” presidential power by demanding legal reasons for dismissing the case) that were overturned immediately when the judge appealed her ruling.

With a hearing on the horizon, in which DOJ lawyers would have to explain the dirty-looking, unusual DOJ about-face in suddenly hurrying to let the president’s pal off the hook, Trump pardoned Flynn unconditionally. Flynn immediately repaid this quid with his pro quo, giving fiery speeches, peppered with QAnon shout outs, about Trump’s greatness and the need to keep him in power no matter what millions of (colored fuckers, ugly women, lazy poor people, homosexuals, abortionists, elite child-molesting cannibals, fucking Commies and other) anti-American freedom-haters might think about it. Flynn is a good guy, remember, one of the best people Trump has ever collected, and certainly very loyal to the president.

Meanwhile, QAnon spouting attorney Sidney Powell, who threatened to release a biblical “kraken” [1] of a lawsuit to bring the entire fraudulent election and the vast blood-drinking, child raping cannibal conspiracy to steal Trump’s presidency crashing down, was fired by Trump’s campaign for being too insane even for them. Like all the other election lawsuits Team Trump brought, Powell’s were dismissed as baseless, releasing the mythical kraken, it turned out, was all in her fevered imagination. She was finally deemed too fucking crazy to be part of even this lunatic squad of suicide bomber Trump lawyers and was publicly renounced by Giuliani, who is something of an expert on lunatic suicide bomber Trump lawyering.

Powell still appeared regularly on right wing TV and internet shows, but only the most gullible and enraged took any of her raving seriously. Mike Flynn began calling for Trump to impose martial law and stay in power, claiming martial law had been declared 64 times and was nothing out of the ordinary.

Friday:

Makes sense, no? Appoint batshit crazy partisan Sidney Powell as “Special Counsel” (really, really special) to get to the bottom of this vast conspiracy, involving not only Trump haters everywhere but (and here’s the devilishness of this sick, dangerous anti-Trump conspiracy) every judge (including many Trump appointees) who heard every case related to Trump’s effort to overturn the election. Speaking of batshit crazy:

The New York Times added, because they are the best at this sort of touch:

A White House spokesman, Ms. Powell and a spokeswoman for Mr. Giuliani did not respond to requests for comment.

I ask you, fellow citizens, why would they respond? To the lying New York Times? Are you friggin’ serious?

Look at the crap they see fit to print!

[1]

The kraken is a legendary sea monster of gigantic size and cephalopod-like appearance in Scandinavian folklore. According to the Norse sagas, the kraken dwells off the coasts of Norway and Greenland and terrorizes nearby sailors. 

Wikipedia

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