Way to do it, Bobby Three Sticks…

I know, I know, the Mueller report is a dead letter, old news, been there, heard the pundits and party hacks go over the talking points, nothing to see here, etc.   Bear with me for a moment, I’ll be brief.

Though there was a great deal of damning evidence contained in Mueller’s massive report, it was scattered over hundreds of carefully written pages, among the sometimes excruciatingly quibbling legalese Bagpiper Bill Barr was able to characterize as a caviling, equivocating punt that amounted to the exoneration of the man Mueller explicitly said he could not exonerate.    

Read this random example of a very important buried headline (brought to light in the PBS review of the report I got this screen shot from) from page 97 of the second volume:

Screen shot 2019-08-31 at 1.18.22 PM.png

“Substantial evidence” that the president’s efforts were intended to prevent investigation into his conduct (the corrupt motive part of the crime obstruction of justice) is not quite the same as “no evidence” as Mr. Fucking Barr kept insisting Mueller and his team had turned up.

Bill Maher said recently that Mueller “shit the bed” by formulating such a difficult and inconclusive report of serious, well-documented criminal wrongdoing.   Fair enough, I suppose, though I’m a bit more on the fence.  

Mueller’s report, at times convoluted in its attempts to be “fair”, certainly does not making its disturbing storyline crystal clear.  On the other hand, there is much to laud Three Sticks for.

Mueller uncovered and preserved a ton of important evidence, though he did it in a way that left his scrupulously careful report open to Barr’s deliberate mischaracterization (thereby effectively shitting the bed, if we take Mueller’s purpose as to advance justice and curb corruption).  

Mueller undoubtedly did future historians a great favor, providing them a wealth of detail, but he also acted, as he struck the Arnold Palmer putting pose over his bed, as though all public officials are as fair-minded and forthright as he appears to be.  

“I present the facts, ma’am, only the facts, and let our Constitutional checks and balances do the rest, as the Founders intended.   I hand over this detailed blueprint to the Congress, the only proper constitutional trier of the troubling facts I herein uncover.   I have done my job to preserve our democracy, now others must step forward to do their’s.”

The flaw in this noble idea, of course, is the presumption of a functional government in our current lobbyists for oligarchs/corporations dominated democracy.  

As if Mueller had never seen a serious news report in the last decade or so about the stalled workings of our government checks and balances.  

As if a Senate presided over by Moscow Mitch McConnell is not the place where anything that might disrupt the seamless right wing narrative (including safeguarding future elections from the sweeping and systematic foreign electoral meddling Mueller uncovered) is consigned to a slow, silent death.  

McConnell recently announced that the Senate would not debate or vote on any bill the president did not tell them in advance he was willing to sign.  

If you had any questions about the terminal state of this sickening partisan brazenness, Bobby Three Sticks, you could have just googled Merrick Garland.

Instead of, arguably, not completely refraining from succeeding in not shitting the bed.

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