Our world-savior president, Donald J. Trump, recently embraced the exalted new name bestowed on him by tweet (by an impressive maniac in his own right) and doubling down on that inspired compliment (Trump’s only move in any situation) referred to himself (with a point at the heavens above) as “the Chosen One.” Done and done. The best friend the Jews ever had, since Reinhard Heydrich, and I say this as a Jew.
The messianic president should be on guard now, I think. I say this as a Jew, as a loyal American, as someone with Google on his phone. Last I heard, things did not go well for the last person to wear that “King of the Jews” crown (which was made of thorns). Y’all remember Jesus of Nazareth, “King of the Jews”? Just type “King of the Jews” into your smartphone and you get this:
The acronym INRI represents the Latin inscription IESVS NAZARENVS REX IVDÆORVM (Iesus Nazarenus, Rex Iudaeorum), which in English translates to “Jesus the Nazarene, King of the Jews” (John 19:19). source
That mysterious INRI on the sign shown in many old paintings of Jesus being crucified stands for “Jesus of Nazareth, King of the Jews”. It was a final vicious mockery of the Prince of Peace, a flicker of that old Roman sense of humor.
Likely suggested, as we are told by devout men, by the hateful “disloyal” Jews of the time, Jews that Christians soon blamed for the crucifixion of God’s son (the alternate story, that Jesus was executed by the Roman authorities, would not have been popular in Rome — and Rome controlled most of the world’s known population at the time). Hey, it’s all about P.R., after all, if you plan to proselytize widely and become a major world religion.
It is not known whether the crucified in 33 A.D. King of the Jews had a sense of humor. I like to think Jesus did. It is a mark of a gentle character, to see the humor in things. Laughing together is a beautiful way of bonding, a blessed moment of relief from oppression of every kind, a gentle reminder to be humble. Of course, a talent for laughter is also the mark of a good Nazi, the comradely ability to see the undeniable humor in the wretched humiliation of a hated enemy. The jury, I suppose, must be eternally out on whether INRI had a sense of humor.
A thought about humor, and who laughs, and why:
“Indelible in the hippocampus is the laughter. The uproarious laughter between the two, and their having fun at my expense.” 
Humor is clearly a double-edged sword.
Seriously, then, our president, The Chosen One, an “extremely stable genius” (with an historically gigantic member), tweeted that he is not going to Denmark next week because he was insulted that his ridiculous proposal that the United States buy Greenland was characterized by the Danish prime minister as “abzurd”. Greenland, by the way, is one of the places on earth where global warming is happening at a disastrously higher rate than predicted.
“‘Abzurd’,” the president repeated in disgust, quoting the mortal insult again, a moment before characterizing the Danish prime minister, a woman, as “nasty”.
Donald King of the Jews knows a lot about nasty, vindictive, hateful bitches, always the victims, always blaming him because they are sexy, or good looking, or ugly, or powerful, or smart, or incisive, or use a word, or a tone, that wounds him. The real victim is always the savior of mankind, about to be crucified by really unfair, totally conflicted, disloyal, nasty witch hunting bitches of both sexes, of many sexes.
I would love to be undistracted, to concentrate, back inside my imagination and my memory, on the things I need to write. There are things in my mind much more compelling than the most recent ass-tweetings of an unstable attention-craving idiot.
My sister, for example, at the age of three or so, grabbed the largest pointed knife in the kitchen, a long, sharp meat slicer with a white handle, and plunged it toward me. I backed away quickly without turning around, backpedalled out of the kitchen, five years old myself. She followed a step behind, holding the large knife in front of her, tottering unsteadily forward on her tiny feet as fast as she could. I was afraid to turn my back on her to flee up the stairs. The pursuit ended in the front closet, me somehow backed inside it, against the coats as my sister brandished the knife, thrusting it forward, smiling fiendishly. Why did I not simply overpower her, take the knife? I was afraid of blood, of the aggression of this tiny child, afraid that either of us might be spouting blood out of a severed artery if a struggle over the large knife took place. Afraid.
A friend told me that some of my writing in the first draft of the memoir of my father was “extreme”. She was hard pressed to explain why she felt that way, beyond that it was just too brutally honest, and the conversation veered into other subjects before I could learn more. Weeks later I read an old piece that was pretty good, but contained an objectively extreme phrase, describing my father’s angry stare as “the unblinking mask of a psychotic” or something like that. Extreme. My father was not psychotic, not by any definition.
Not only was it not a good description of his face at that moment, it was a weak and distracting one, a lazy one. It betrayed unrestrained emotion, undermined my credibility and instantly pulled the reader away from the more important truth I should have been establishing: my father, a good man, smart, funny, sensitive and idealistic, was eternally desperate and it was this desperation that kept him on guard and frequently enraged at his children.
How the story is told is very, very important for passing on the intended message, the discovered insight. One sloppy stroke and the reader is rightfully distracted, shakes her head “fucking guy, pretty interesting piece, but he lost me there” and then on to the next link.
Instead of making forward progress in my own life of leisure and genteel poverty (I can live without working as long as I don’t spend much money), I drink my coffee while reviewing a few events that made the news since last night. The NY Times reports that the president called any Jew who was prepared to vote against him “ignorant” and “very disloyal”. I know this guy simply talks out of his face and his ass interchangeably (no comment about his breath) but found that I had to read a little about it. Which led to a youTube clip, which led to another, which led to an article and so on.
Back to the King of the Jews and disloyalty to him. My father had a colleague and good friend named Evelyn, who later became a hated former friend and former colleague. I looked her up decades later and we began a correspondence. Evelyn had converted to Judaism in the intervening years and was trying to convince me that then-presidents Bush and Cheney, the neoCons and the Evangelical right, were the best friends of Israel and all Jews. The invasion and occupation of Iraq was very good for Israel, she argued. The one-time socialist scholar was not very persuasive, she was unsuccessful in her mission to convert me to extreme right wing politics, in the name of Judaism and what is best “for the Jews”. An old saw: two Jews in an elevator, five strenuous differences of opinion.
An old joke, by way of illustration: Two Jews are stranded on a desert island for many years. When the rescue boat finally arrives the rescuers find the two Jews have built three synagogues on the island. “I don’t understand,” says a rescuer, “there are two Jews, why three synagogues?” The Jews point to the third synagogue and answer, in one voice, “nobody goes to that one.”
There are Jews today who, to me, are indistinguishable from Nazis in their core beliefs, which include a righteous, well-justified refusal to regard “enemies” as human beings. If you sincerely believe that every Palestinian two year-old is a hate-filled terrorist you might as well let them live in open air prisons until they are old enough to shoot with live ammunition at the border fence.
If you believe, as Jews have long been urged to do by our tradition, in the importance of protecting the weak, being hospitable to the stranger among us (a tradition modern-day desert nomads still practice), you will have a much different attitude toward the suffering of any child, Palestinian babies, Israeli babies or the tiny children (and their parents) in the privately owned for-profit hell-holes that Trump’s ICE uses to keep stinking, unwashed human asylum seekers in cages.
It is only a Nazi type who justifies inflicting this kind of suffering on others, wholly innocent of anything themselves, insisting their victims deserve their cruel fate because they are part of an infestation of an invasive species of subhuman. That’s Nazi shit, my friend.
To me, speaking as an American Jew, this self-appointed King of the Jews, seriously, is more like the fancy King of the Very Fine Nazis, the finest Nazis, some very, very fine Nazis. Hey, what a cool idea: a King of the Nazis! I guess you could also call that heaven appointed ruler the Fuhrer. Got a nice ring to it, I think.
 Senator Leahy: “You’ve never forgotten them laughing at you.”
Blasey Ford “They were laughing with each other.”
Leahy: “And you were the object of the laughter?”
Blasey Ford “I was underneath one of them, while the two laughed.”