Bagpiper Bill’s increasingly desperate defense of Donald Trump

Weeks before releasing any part of Mueller’s report (including the redacted summary Mueller had provided to Barr, along with the report) suddenly squirrelly (details below) Bill Barr defended the innocent, unfairly persecuted Unitary Executive this way:

There is substantial evidence to show that the president was frustrated and angered by his sincere belief that the investigation was undermining his presidency, propelled by his political opponents and fueled by illegal leaks.  [1]

You’ll have to take my word that this is a verbatim transcript of what the skilled and highly principled evasionist/obstructionist said in explaining that the president was understandably angry and frustrated, as anyone would be, by his sincere belief that he was innocent and being persecuted.   I transcribed this from an audio recording, made a few months back when I heard it excerpted again on Preet Bharara’s podcast, Stay Tuned with Preet.   (I can tell from the background music that Preet played the clip, it’s possibly from  the 3/25/19 episode).

According to Barr, if someone (in his party) has a sincere belief (like Boof Kavanaugh’s that he was never drunk enough to fall on a younger woman and paw at her clothes, or drunkenly thrust his penis in another woman’s face at Yale) then THAT SHOULD BE ENOUGH.   What do you people want?   He had a sincere belief that his enemies wanted to harm him.   How do you expect him to feel?  Of course he was furious, and frustrated, who wouldn’t be?!   They were going to undermine him, and his political opponents were ready to pile on, and things we classified top secret, because they were harmful to him, were illegally leaked by sinful traitors who wouldn’t know loyalty if it came up and buggered them!

We have all noted that in these kinds of disputes (Trump vs. the lies of the partisan Mueller report that totally exonerated him) facts and Reason are easily cast aside in our bloodthirstily tribal culture.   It’s emotions that matter, get people worked up enough to go to the polls, where, if they are not black, or hispanic, or young, or in college, or old, or transexuals, or activists, they can easily cast their votes to Make America Great Again.

We want to undercount millions that the constitution requires be enumerated every ten years because — WE ARE DEFENDING THE VOTING RIGHTS ACT!  Yes, that’s right.   We are defending the federal law that says states cannot discriminate against citizens who want to vote because of race, or to favor a more racist political party, as has been, admittedly, done in our past, particularly, but not only in, the states of the former Confederacy, for a century or more.   That’s why we don’t want to count inhabitants of hated ethnic and social groups who may or may not be citizens.   To protect the right of all Americans, not only Democrats, to vote!

The Federalists on the court all liked this reason, found it good enough to pass Supreme Court scrutiny.  Only John Roberts (now the “swing vote”, God help us) pointed out that the administration’s “reason” for asking a citizenship question on the 2020 Census appeared to be contrived, and counter to the evidence.   Roberts suggested that a sensible reason, no matter how flimsy, would have sufficed, but this Voting Rights Act “reason” had the smell of the thing Boof Kavanaugh’s mother warns judges to be wary of, in using their common sense to separate likely truth from likely crap.   In response to the Supreme Court’s decision, the fury on FOX and the president’s tweets, Barr fired the DOJ legal team who had argued the case and tried to replace all the lawyers.

Of course the reason Roberts and the others rejected 5-4 was obviously bullshit.   The administration has made every attempt to suppress votes, even establishing a short-lived commission (headed by famous supporters of voter suppression laws, former Kansas Secretary of State Kris Kobach and the irreproachable Mike Pence), to prove that Hillary Clinton’s three million popular vote majority was based on massive nationwide voter fraud.  Opposition to  Trump’s Advisory Commission on Election Integrity was widespread and bipartisan. 

It wasn’t just Democrats who were resisting. Mississippi Republican Secretary of State Delbert Hosemann said that when he received the data request, his response would be to tell the commission to “go jump in the Gulf of Mexico and Mississippi is a great State to launch from.”       source

The commission had been set up to investigate the fraudulent votes of three million dead, sneaky, illegal Mexicans that Trump tweeted about.   We can’t have millions of zombie voters here in the land of the goddamned Voting Rights Act!   Trump disbanded the commission after a few months (they found no evidence of this army of dead voters) but… nothing to see here!   We now fully support the goddamned Voting Rights Act!   How does this argument smell to you?  Not for nothing footnote (from the same source) [2].

Back to suddenly squirrelly Bill Barr.  Barr, like Trump, initially said he had no problem with Robert Mueller testifying (Trump also initially claimed he supported releasing the entire un-redacted report, if memory serves me).    Barr said Mueller’s testimony would only confirm his judgment that the report, since it did not explicitly state that the president was guilty but only detailed many, arguably, highly suspicious actions by the president, exonerates the president of all wrongdoing.  Barr read the report carefully and is as well aware as any reader of the disturbing findings throughout.  Barr knows that his definitive, public relations winning “interpretation” is an outright lie. 

Even if Mueller doggedly sticks to the four corners of the report, as he has vowed to do, and as he has always done in the past when testifying, there is a lot that, if simply read aloud by Mueller on live television, is extremely damaging to Barr’s/Trump’s creative narrative of exoneration.   Mueller states unequivocally in clear prose that his report does not exonerate Trump, certainly not of his past and ongoing obstruction of justice.   Exoneration and Case Closed is Barr’s story, and he’s sticking to it, desperately.

Barr has been providing sound bytes to the media the last few days, as we all wait for the televised July 17th Mueller testimony.  Barr told the world yesterday that if Mueller doesn’t like being under subpoena the DOJ will have his back if he doesn’t want to testify.    The DOJ is also trying to bar (Barr) closed door Congressional Committee testimony by two former DOJ employees, both of whom worked for the Special Counsel, who are scheduled to appear voluntarily.   NOTHING TO FUCKING HIDE HERE, YOU FUCKING IRRATIONAL HATERS!!!  It is routine for a former employer to forbid former employees from doing things!

Barr has reason to be squirrelly.   He auditioned for the Attorney General job with an impressive, unsolicited legal memo supporting the arguable legality of whatever the Unitary Executive feels he has to do.   He was evasive during his confirmation hearings, protesting his long friendship with and great respect for Robert Mueller, a man whose findings he promised to honor, a man he quickly threw under the bus when those findings turned out to be problematic for the Unitary Executive.   He lied to the American people about Mueller’s duty under the present “Special Counsel” statute (which apparently bound him to the OLC memo prohibiting indictment of the president) and announced that since Mueller had been indecisive, as judge and jury he, the A.G., was exonerating Trump and holding on to the report for a month or so to let that message sink in.   NOTHING TO SEE HERE!.  Which is why we have to cover it up in every possible way.   What don’t you irrationally angry liberal ass-dicking Christ-haters not understand about fucking CASE CLOSED!!!

To some true believers, Bill Barr is a man of unwavering principle and devotion, a devout Catholic conservative who believes that Christ infallibly guides him in this world of darkness.  To me, Barr is a dangerous fanatic, whether or not he would have been a fantastic lawyer for Torquemada and the devout, pious Christian torturers of the holy Spanish Inquisition.


[1]  The full paragraph, from right before Mueller spoke on the day he resigned:

Yet, as he said from the beginning, there was in fact no collusion. And as the special counsel’s report acknowledges, there is substantial evidence to show that the president was frustrated and angered by his sincere belief that the investigation was undermining his presidency, propelled by his political opponents and fueled by illegal leaks.   Nonetheless, the White House fully cooperated with the special counsel’s investigation, providing unfettered access to campaign and White House documents, directing senior aides to testify freely, and asserting no privilege claims.    source

click here for a perfect example of but one part of that full cooperation Barr lied about


[2]   from the rabid communists at fake news NPR:

One of the five Democratic members died in October as well, and a researcher for the commission was arrested on charges of possessing child pornography.

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