(image courtesy of Fox)
The new Attorney General of the United States (Trump’s third), facing a House citation for contempt of Congress, sends a letter to the president advising him of what he needs to do to keep redacted details of Mueller’s deliberately mischaracterized investigation secret to avoid the revelation of any details that could prove embarrassing, or worse, to the Unitary Executive and his reelection prospects. Barr did this yesterday when he wrote a letter to Trump that begins (almost perfect in its grammar):
I am writing to request that you make protective assertion of executive privilege with respect to Department of Justice documents recently subpoenaed by the Committee on the Judiciary of the House of Representatives. 
If the president’s personal lawyer and gleefully loyal sidekick Rudy Giuliani had sent him this letter, or another member of Trump’s Praetorian Guard like Mitch McConnell, Lindsey Graham, Chuck Grassley, Lyin’ Ted Cruz or any one of dozens like them, had sent the letter, I’d simply have hit snooze. Loyal ass-lickers loyally licking ass, nothing to see here.
But this letter to the president, with advice from the U.S. Attorney General on how to best stonewall and run out the clock on any legal probe into his seamless pattern, as president (and since childhood), of obstruction of justice (much of it done in public, shamelessly and usually dishonestly, but no less indictably) is contempt itself. In addition to urging the president to take a desperate action to obstruct the administration of justice, it is also frivolous advice — the president already waived his executive privilege when he let Mueller gather all the redacted evidence. Desperate times call for desperate measures, yo.
Barr is acting as war time consigliere, a role he feels he was born to play — protecting the most powerful man in the world from facing the consequences of his illegal acts.
Do not be lulled. This is remarkable shit, the nation’s top lawyer personally advising the president on how to skate for what appears to be a reflexive lifelong pattern of criminal activity, or, at least, open contempt of all law and every norm decent people all observe. The pathetic porcine puppet did this service for his old boss George HW Bush when he helped orchestrate the pre-trail pardon of indicted Iran-Contra co-conspirator Caspar Weinberger. The trial would have, at the very least, left HW covered with shit when discovery began and Bush’s name was all over Weinberger’s notes of meetings HW consistently denied knowledge of. Barr acted to protect his boss and did, advising on the pardons of the rest of the conspirators, including convicted perjurer Elliot Abrams, in the final cover-up of a series of illegal and deadly actions known blandly as the Iran-Contra Affair.
When Barr consented to be questioned on television, under oath in front of a Senate committee, the master evader had the protection of the chairman, hissy fit throwing Lindsey Graham, a seasoned ass-licker who could be depended on to protect the apolitical A.G. from any rough questioning by political enemies. Graham had proven his ability to hiss with the best of them when he provided passionate indignation and full-throated snarling cover for intemperate Boof Kavanaugh who railed, snorted and cried defending his birth right to sit on the highest court in the land and not have to settle, unfairly defeated and life destroyed by a cabal of filthy rich lying traitors, for his lifetime seat on the second highest court in the land. Graham proved himself one shameless single white man in both of these high stakes, spotlit moments.
In the House, a forum where evasion would not be so easy, without a five minute questioning clock to easily run out with lawyerly cavil, with a referee clearly not on his side, Barr simply refused to testify. Contemptuous of Congress’s limited power, without action by the Department of Justice, at whose head Barr sits, to do shit to him, he simply told the members of the Democratically controlled Congressional committee to fuck themselves and their perfectly reasonable, legal requests for testimony and evidence. As for legal documents you have an unequivocal legal right to see, I have your unequivocal legal right right here, bitches (note that I am cupping my porcine privates), as I have so advised the president who I have vowed to loyally protect, come what may.
In the senate session, confronted with written evidence, prepared by Robert S. Mueller III within a day of Barr’s initial public distortions about the findings of his report, that Barr had, at best, fibbed when he claimed he didn’t know what Mueller felt about his lying mischaracterization (he’d had Mueller’s short letter for weeks by then, with every opportunity to read it and know precisely how Mueller felt) Barr did what any powerful, contemptuous, pig-faced motherfucker would have done. Holding the letter that proved he’d been lying under oath he shrugged and said it was a “snitty” letter, probably written by one of Mueller’s junior associates.
A peevish amateur, in other words, had written this peevish letter, out of pure snit and powerless loser indignation, to the most powerful law enforcement agent in the United States. Barr was hinting by this smug surmise, you understand, that Mueller probably didn’t even look when he signed the snitty little letter. You see? Nothing to see here. Mueller’s supposed letter was a mere piece of snit, not even written by him, so how am I supposed to know what he said about how he felt when he didn’t even fucking say it?!
I’m not impressed by this kind of shit. I knew many people in law school as talented as Barr is (or fucking Boof Kavanaugh, for that matter) in skating right up to the line of outright perjury, giving a contemptuous smile and inviting you to kiss their ample ass as they skate back to a neutral corner. It is a despicable part of the lawyer’s art, to vigorously lie without actually, technically, lying. Barr is an experienced, high-priced corporate (and corpulent) lawyer, apparently not bound any ethical restraints in the highest sense, and so he can evade answering any question (in a forum where the ref only calls fouls on the other team) merely by going around the side of the question and being contemptuous. He can (and did) do this at will in a forum where the partisan ref had his back.
I once volunteered on a kibbutz. The kibbutzniks challenged the teen- aged volunteers to a friendly game of basketball. We had two or three really good players. They quickly scored a few points and soon found they couldn’t get near the basket without being hacked, grabbed, stomped on, literally put into headlocks. There was never a foul called.
This was because the referee, the guy calling fouls and making sure the rules were enforced, turned out to be the coach of the kibbutz team. The fucking coach. One of our best players got mad, after being restrained by two burly kibbutzniks, and elbowed hard in the stomach by one, with nuggies from the other, as he went up for his shot. He was called for a technical foul when he loudly asked a teammate, in English “how do you tell the ref he’s a fucking lying piece of shit?”
The kibbutzniks had a guy waiting under their basket for a full-court heave and an easy, uncontested lay-up. I watched this a couple of times and then hung back near half court. As Alon, master of the chicken coops, got the pass I was a few feet from him, racing to close the distance. He went up for the lay-up and I leaped up and slapped that shit cleanly out of the air. It was one of the best plays I ever made on a basketball court. Perfectly timed, athletic, totally clean.
Naturally, I was called for a foul and the little fuck shot two, that little smirk still on his face. As the kibbutznik sunk both shots I muttered loudly, in Hebrew, that the ref was a complete piece of shit, and the son of a stinking whore, his father being a young boy who services pederasts. The ref graciously did not call another foul on me (I was not much of a scoring threat). The kibbutzniks were ahead by 20 points by then anyway.
This is what we’re dealing with here with Mr. Contempt, Bill Barr. A bulging barr of stinking shit. Needs to face impeachment, if that’s what it takes to wipe that fucking smug smile off his contemptuous pig face and restore some version of the rule of law, rather than the rule of contempt for all laws.
Notice also, though Mueller found numerous Russian acts to help Trump win the 2016 election, Trump’s administration has done nothing to investigate these acts to prevent them from happening again in 2020. That’s what winners do, according to people like Trump and Barr, they preserve all their privileges and do a wild victory dance while pissing on what fucking powerless losers think.
 The rest of Barr’s letter reads:
In cases like this where a committee has declined to grant sufficient time to conduct a full review, the President may make a protective assertion of privilege to protect the interests of the Executive Branch pending a final determination about whether to assert privilege. See Protective Assertion of Executive Privilege Regarding White House Counsel’s Office Documents, 20 Op. O.L.C. 1 (1996) (opinion of Attorney General Janet Reno). The Committee has demanded that I produce the “complete and unredacted version”of the report submitted to me on March 22, 2019, by Special Counsel Robert S. Mueller, III, regarding his investigation of Russian interference in the 2016 presidential election. The Committee also seeks “[a]ll documents referenced in the Report”and “[a]ll documents obtained and investigative materials created by the Special Counsel’s Office.” The Committee therefore demands all of the Special Counsel’s investigative files, which consist of millions of pages of classified and unclassified documents bearing upon more than two dozen criminal cases and investigations, many of which are ongoing. These materials include law enforcement information, information about sensitive intelligence sources and methods, and grand-jury information that the Department is prohibited from disclosing by law.
Consistent with paragraph 5 of President Reagan’s 1982 memorandum about assertions of executive privilege, the Department requested that the Chairman of the Committee hold the subpoena in abeyance and delay any vote recommending that the House of Representatives approve a resolution finding me in contempt of Congress for failing to comply with the subpoena, pending a final presidential decision on whether to invoke executive privilege. See Memorandum for the Heads of Executive Departments and Agencies, Re: Procedures Governing Responses to Congressional Requests for Information at 2 (Nov. 4, 1982). The Department made this request because, although the subpoenaed materials assuredly include categories of information within the scope of executive privilege, the Committee’s abrupt resort to a contempt vote—notwithstanding ongoing negotiations about appropriate accommodations—has not allowed sufficient time for you to consider fully whether to make a conclusive assertion of executive privilege. The Chairman, however, has indicated that he intends to proceed with the markup session scheduled at 10 a.m. today on a resolution recommending a finding of contempt against me for failing to produce the requested materials.
In these circumstances, you may properly assert executive privilege with respect to the entirety of the Department of Justice materials that the Committee has demanded, pending final decision on the matter. As with President Clinton’s assertion in 1996, you would be making only a preliminary, protective assertion of executive privilege designed to ensure your ability to make a final assertion, if necessary, over some or all of the subpoenaed materials. See Protective Assertion of Executive Privilege, 20 Op. O.L.C. at 1. As the Attorney General and head of the Department of Justice, I hereby respectfully request that you do so.