Pathetic porcine puppet


The conclusion that Congress may apply the obstruction laws to the President’s corrupt exercise of the powers of office accords with our constitutional system of checks and balances and the principle that no person is above the law.

Robert Mueller III, end of his executive summary of Obstruction of Justice findings   (read entire unredacted summary here)

William Barr (the titular “pathetic porcine puppet”, in the accurate, alliterative phrase tweeted by constitutional law scholar Laurence Tribe), current U.S. Attorney General, our nation’s recently appointed top law enforcement official, pretends that Mueller concluded no such thing.  His spin is an evidence-avoiding counter-conclusion that pleases the boss, at whose pleasure Barr serves, the only thing a loyal consigliere must consider, how to protect the boss no matter what.               

All Barr had for the American public was “nothing to see here” and the indignant opinion that the president was absolutely right to feel “frustrated, angry” and under attack by a politically motivated investigation that found “nothing to see here.”  In addition, the president was betrayed by a long succession of disloyal rats, their leaks fueling the baseless investigation.    Here is what he said in his long, public address to all Americans prior to releasing the report, this was apparently the money shot:

ATTORNEY GENERAL WILLIAM BARR: In assessing the president’s actions discussed in the report, it is important to bear in mind the context. President Trump faced an unprecedented situation. As he entered into office and sought to perform his responsibilities as president, federal agents and prosecutors were scrutinizing his conduct before and after taking office, and the conduct of some of his associates. At the same, there was relentless speculation in the news media about the president’s personal culpability.

Yet, as he said from the beginning, there was in fact no collusion. And as the special counsel’s report acknowledges, there is substantial evidence to show that the president was frustrated and angered by his sincere belief that the investigation was undermining his presidency, propelled by his political opponents and fueled by illegal leaks. [1]  Nonetheless, the White House fully cooperated with the special counsel’s investigation, providing unfettered access to campaign and White House documents, directing senior aides to testify freely, and asserting no privilege claims.

Mueller, you will see, found many troubling things about our angry, frustrated, traitor-betrayed president’s actions over the last two years.  You can read the highlights for yourself in the virtually un-redacted summary here.

There have always been Americans, often the greatest beneficiaries of the unfair status quo, who believe the president should be an all-powerful ruler.   The theory of the Unitary Executive has been put forward, by people like the aptly named Dick Cheney, as an argument that a democracy needs a strong chief executive whose powers cannot be unduly restrained by elected officials in Congress or political appointees in the judiciary branch.  

In practice this “theory” comes from the reasonable fear that the will of a unilaterally ideological president could be counteracted, even hamstrung, by other elected representatives, by judges, absent the special privileges of the Unitary Executive.   It would be disastrous for the interests of the ultra-privileged if poor, despised Americans could vote in huge numbers, in fair elections, to elect people to represent their interests, instead of the interests of the organized super-wealthy who currently fund the election of our presidents.   History shows it’s easier to elect one cynical bought and paid for corrupt fucker than the many needed to control Congress (though, clearly, most of them are for sale too).

The Unitary Executive is good for things like unilaterally dismantling social programs that don’t benefit the rich, removing protections to small investors, consumers, vulnerable earthlings trying to breathe and eat food that is not poisoned.   The Unitary Executive is the counter-theory to “checks and balances”.   The president, under this view, is closer to a king, dictator, strongman or a CEO who also owns the company and has his children/heirs as the board of directors, than to the presidency envisioned by our founding fathers and embodied in the presidency of George Washington, setting the tone for a president bound by law and norms, a cooperative executive carrying out the democratically expressed will of the people, decorously.

This toxic orange turd who presently occupies the Oval Office is a big believer in the theory that he should have the final word on everything that happens in the nation that swept him into power with a historic mandate of around 80,000 electoral college votes.   Otherwise, it’s unfair to him and bad for democracy!    He gets frustrated and angry, as his current attorney general said defending his master’s indefensible attempts to end a lawful inquiry into his overtly suspicious and corrupt-appearing dealings, when people he attacks attack him back.  How dare they?!!!  He is the president, not them!!!

Like one of history’s most famous insane dictators, a man who would have celebrated his 120th birthday yesterday, had he not brought ruin and shame to his nation and almost destroyed it before poisoning his wife and dog and blowing his own brains out, Mr. Trump demands absolute personal loyalty from the people he hires.   Mr. Hitler required an oath of personal loyalty to himself, not to Germany, not to the German constitution.  Many were glad and proud to give that loyalty oath, many others were killed for not giving that oath, for not honoring it no matter what.   Tyrants and mobsters have no patience for “rats”.  A rat is a rat is a rat.

The Unitary Executive can order subordinates to violate the law with no fear of consequences (while in office, anyway).  The Department of Justice has issued two opinions, one in 1973 the other in 2000, that the sitting president cannot be the subject of a criminal prosecution.   The second of these DOJ opinions was written after Bill Clinton was tried, during his presidency, for violating a federal statute about workplace harassment when, as governor of Arkansas, he allegedly tried to get an employee to have sex with him.  

The devilish detail there was that it was not a strictly criminal or civil trial but an alleged violation of a federal law, which is why the Supreme Court denied Clinton’s attempt to not stand trial while president.  

Clinton quietly paid the plaintiff a ton of money to end the case against him.   Painted as a slippery, lying bastard during that prosecution, he was then forced into a corner, under oath, by a partisan Independent Counsel, about blow jobs he received in the Oval Office and impeached for perjury when he tried to weasel out of publicly admitting a young intern had fellated him.   For the good of the country, and the protection of future presidents, the DOJ decided again, as they had in 1973, that sitting presidents should not be put on trial, except by the Senate following articles of impeachment from the House.

The founding fathers, who extreme conservatives are fond of citing as secular prophets similar in stature to the divinely inspired men who wrote the Bible, wisely designed a government of three co-equal branches, to prevent any one branch from imposing tyranny on the country.  A system of checks and balances, it is often called.  

The president is the executive who carries out legislation reflecting the will of the People, expressed through their elected representatives, with the safeguard (created by Justice John Marshall in an early Supreme Court decision) of a Supreme Court to decide, unappealably, whether the challenged law complies with our Constitution.

Now we come to William Barr, our current Attorney General, Laurence Tribe’s “pathetic porcine puppet.”   Tribe added that Barr’s partisan behavior as Attorney General has been shameful.   His lying, wildly spinning introduction of the redacted Mueller report was disgraceful.

Barr openly auditioned  (skip to section below the illustration in the link for details) for the job by publicly offering to do the equivalent for Mr. Trump of what Monica Lewinsky had done for Mr. Clinton.   He wrote a nineteen page legal memo and sent it to Trump.  The memo stated (falsely) that as a matter of law a president cannot obstruct justice.  The memo described exactly how Barr would defend the president, come what may.   He also wrote several op-eds supporting some of the president’s more grotesque, and legally dubious, policies.

The point is, even if William Barr were not a corpulent corporatist (and I’m not one to call a fat bastard fat) even if he was a thin, dapper, handsome man, he would still be a pathetic porcine puppet.   He made it clear to our simple-minded, if cunning, president, that he’d be happy to have POTUS’s hand up his ass and let the president do whatever the president needed done to carry out his historically important work.   Personal loyalty, uber alles.

Barr could have released Mueller’s entire executive summary the same day he put out his summary letter (that he later denied had been a summary) stating that Mueller had cleared the president of all wrong-doing.   Mueller’s executive summary of his investigation ends with these lines (and again, barely a phrase of Mueller’s summary needed to be redacted by the pathetic porcine puppet):

The conclusion that Congress may apply the obstruction laws to the President’s corrupt exercise of the powers of office accords with our constitutional system of checks and balances and the principle that no person is above the law.


Because we determined not to make a traditional prosecutorial judgment, we did not draw ultimate conclusions about the President’s conduct. The evidence we obtained about the President’s actions and intent presents difficult issues that would need to be resolved if we were making a traditional prosecutorial judgment. At the same time, if we had confidence after a thorough investigation of the facts that the President clearly did not commit obstruction of justice, we would so state. Based on the facts and the applicable legal standards, we are unable to reach that judgment.

Accordingly, while this report does not conclude that the President committed a crime, it also does not exonerate him.

(emphasis mine.   From Mueller’s excellent, clear, short summary of Volume II on obstruction which I urge you to read in its entirety here)


Barr could have released Mueller’s entire executive summary the same day he put out his misleading, distracting, falsely exonerating, non-summary summary– again, virtually NOTHING in the summary was redacted by the loyal, pathetic, porcine puppet (I counted 4 redactions, “harm to ongoing matters” in Part I and 3 such redactions in Part II).  Bill Barr, and I say this with all due respect, is a fucking disgrace to the law and to our tradition of democracy.   Makes Jeff Sessions (a weasel too racist to be appointed to the federal bench, imagine how racist that is!) look like a man of integrity, a man with at least nominal respect for the norms of American democracy.

Read the executive summary of the obstruction case against Mr. Trump.  It is not long and is an easy read, the facts clearly laid out.   As soon as Mr. Trump felt under threat by the Mueller investigation, the facts show, he went into overdrive, ordering subordinates to violate the spirit (and sometimes letter) of the law to protect him from the groundless witch hunt that made him so angry and so frustrated for so long– as it would have anyone, according to the pathetic porcine puppet apologist.

In the end, not without some irony, president Fuckface’s presidency may have been saved by subordinates who refused to carry out his orders to commit illegal acts.   By not carrying out those orders, detailed in Mueller’s summary, they may have prevented the actual crime of Obstruction of Justice.

That said, there are many, many reasons to impeach the self-serving, corrupt, self-dealing imbecile president.   They are outlined beautifully here.

As the author of that article stresses, having the votes for impeachment and removal from office is not the only consideration.   Impeachment is the only legal way Americans have to hold a corrupt demagogue in high office to account for the harm he is doing to democracy, our standing in the world, and the world itself.  

At the very least, impeachment would show that America will not tolerate this kind of abusive public behavior in our president.   It will place the case before the American people, keep the indefensible fuck on the defensive, angry and frustrated  (and rightfully so, and good for the loser)  and hunkering down against an army of disloyal, leaking, ass-covering rat traitors.   And, fuck him. And the pathetic porcine puppet he is trying to ride off on.


[1]  I wonder if Boof Kavanaugh helped Mr. Barr with his remark, the rhetorical style and rhythm of this:

“And as the special counsel’s report acknowledges, there is substantial evidence to show that the president was frustrated and angered by his sincere belief that the investigation was undermining his presidency, propelled by his political opponents and fueled by illegal leaks.”

is reminiscent of these immortal lines, the winning argument of Boof Kavanaugh, when he cried and blustered his way on to the Supreme Court:


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