One funny man
“I don’t know what I did to make you treat me so unfairly and so disrespectfully,” while possibly accurate, is probably not the best line of approach when someone you love has treated you hurtfully.
If you have degenerative arthritis, say, and did not qualify, until a few weeks ago, for palliative injections that will allow you to exercise for six months without pain while building up surrounding muscle, why is that really anyone’s concern besides yours? Why would you expect automatic acknowledgment of your physical limitations and the empathy that follows from considering a loved one’s disability?
Say you feel wrongly accused of a flaw you try not to have, say in addition to an unreasonable expectation of sympathy, there’s the perception of your habitual comfort inconveniencing everyone around you. You like to sleep all day, so nobody can even be on the road for a vacation workout by a reasonable 10 a.m.
All these feelings, after someone shows you an implacable face, must be put to the side as you figure out the best way to restore trust and mutuality. It may take more patience than you have, particularly when you feel hurt, but that’s a separate question.
The real question is how to convey to them how hurt they would feel, placed in the unfair situation they’ve placed you in. That is not the work of a few minutes or a few hours, of simply choosing the right words. It requires a supremely patient telling of the right story, framed sympathetically, to keep everyone calm and help them understand.
It may take more patience than you feel you have. It becomes easy to think up past wrongs echoing the latest and be hurt by the confirmation of callousness, but making this list carries the risk of making you sound petty and prosecutorial. Best to focus on understanding, clarity and directness, toward a more loving future.
Otherwise, speaking out of pain, you are much more likely to do harm than to say anything that will contribute to healing or empathy.
Try writing the situation out first, it may help you grasp things better, to be more clear and better able to stay out of the many deadly traps hurt will steer you towards.
Best of luck, there is no harder work I know than remaining mild when you feel deeply hurt. It is worth the price to master this supremely difficult skill. In the meantime, be very judicious in what you say while still smarting.
Excellent portrait of the consummate moderately right wing sack of shit, member of the far right corporate American Legislative Exchange Council, coal broker and chairman of the Senate Energy and National Resources Committee, this podcast, which Robert Reich heard and excerpted this from:
I don’t know why this sort of straightforward piece of reporting was not done in January, or February, when it was well known that Trump and his surrogates had made numerous public and private attempts to coerce state officials to change vote tallies, before finally inciting a deadly riot to try to #Stop the Steal. It is now clear, from Barr and his successor as AG, that Trump knew he was lying about the rigged, stolen election, as Barr had been when he claimed, over and over, without any evidence at all (the evidence points to the extreme, statistically insignificant rarity of US voter fraud) that it was “obvious’ mail-in voting was open to “massive” fraud, as Trump mega-donor Postmaster Looey DeJoy slowed the mail to a crawl by dismantling mail sorting machines ahead of the pandemic election of 2020. Can you say Seditious Conspiracy?
I know it’s a cardinal rule of corporate media to avoid conflict that could lead to alienating sponsors. A supremely unfortunate bottom-line rule when it comes to news reporting, because instead of real-time action against outrages against us all, we have a sort of long, polite, deliberative, institutional pause (as right wing radicals continue to scheme and act), followed by a historical recap that, nine months or a year later, might as well pertain to the Byzantine Empire as far as the average American is concerned. But the other day we finally had this:
Former President Trump and his inner circle were using all the powers of the presidential office to wage a high-pressure campaign, CNN’s Drew Griffin reports — not to stop the steal but to start it.
you can see and hear the well-known details here, which includes the rare editorial use of “lying” for “knowingly false” “misleading” “incorrect” and all the other euphemisms that corporate media employs to avoid ascribing intent to the actions of allegedly criminal pieces of shit:
The balls to the wall anti-democratic governor of the Hang ’em High state of Texas, Gregg Abbott, apparently has spent 24 years in high office in Texas. Seven years as governor, five years on the Texas Supreme Court and twelve as the state’s Attorney General for this powerful extreme conservative Texan. The other day, in defending the radical reach-around bounty law deputizing citizens to sue their neighbors for helping each other get a constitutionally protected medical procedure, a law that makes no exceptions for victims of rape, he vowed to get all Texas rapists off the streets (and presumably also out of all family picnics, school sports programs, churches, etc.). The Lincoln Project had a good question for him, at the end of this thirty second ad:
Here is another excellent question for the Trumpist governor:
Of course the Trump RNC is threatening to sue Biden for using his power to try to stop surging COVID-19 by getting more of the 80,000,000 reluctant Americans vaccinated (hello Sidney Powell). Vaccines, masks and other health precautions have been weaponized by the malignant Orange Polyp in the course of his ordinary duties as the 45th president.
Recall that the RNC had a single plank in their 2020 party platform: support whatever Trump says. They,’ve kept that promise, big time.
The Trump RNC represents the lowest impulses of humanity: greed, intolerance and limitless rage (also smug entitlement to privilege). And they’re doing a heck of a job, Brownie!
Lying in the service of truth is no vice when your enemies rape children and drink their blood, to paraphrase Barry Goldwater.
One from the What the fucking Fuck? Department, a traitor who led an army against the nation he swore an oath to protect, a guy who told his fellow rebel generals to stand down after his surrender at Appomattox, of whom Ulysses S. Grant said :
“setting an example of forced acquiescence so grudging and pernicious in its effects as to be hardly realized”
is depicted on a stained glass window in the Washington National Cathedral. Go pray under that window, if you’re feeling inspired (you’d have to go back in time, to any day between 1953 and 2017 when this window, and the one to fellow Confederate General Stonewall Jackson –accidentally killed by his own troops– were finally taken down ).
Among his posthumous honors:
Robert E. Lee has been commemorated on U.S. postage stamps at least five times, the first one being a commemorative stamp that also honored Stonewall Jackson, issued in 1936. A second “regular-issue” stamp was issued in 1955. He was commemorated with a 32-cent stamp issued in the American Civil War Issue of June 29, 1995. His horse Traveller is pictured in the background.source
And none of this was even during the tenure of smirking weasel Trump megadonor Looey DeJoy.
Read this paragraph, and try not to feel slightly indignant:
After the war, Lee was not arrested or punished (although he was indicted),  but he did lose the right to vote as well as some property. Lee’s prewar family home, the Custis-Lee Mansion, was seized by Union forces during the war and turned into Arlington National Cemetery, and his family was not compensated until more than a decade after his death.
Imagine that! The family of the West Point-trained traitor who led an army against his nation in a war that cost more than 600,000 American dead was not compensated until more than a decade after his death. They had to wait more than ten years to be paid for the confiscated land that would become Arlington National Cemetery. Fucking hell! SO UNFAIR! I suppose they never got paid for the slaves they lost either… sheesh.
Viciously stripped of his US Citizenship by vengeful Radical Republicans in Congress (they were insane in their hatred of slavery and pro-slavery forces who had killed Americans to defend it), he had to wait over a century to have his citizenship restored! Read the sickening details of what was done to this great American/Confederate:
In 1865, after the war, Lee was paroled and signed an oath of allegiance, asking to have his citizenship of the United States restored. However, his application was not processed by Secretary of State William Seward, a radical Republican and firm opponent of slavery, and as a result Lee did not receive a pardon and his citizenship was not restored. On January 30, 1975, Senate Joint Resolution 23, A joint resolution to restore posthumously full rights of citizenship to General R. E. Lee was introduced into the Senate by Senator Harry F. Byrd Jr. (I-VA), the result of a five-year campaign to accomplish this. Proponents portrayed the lack of pardon as a mere clerical error. The resolution, which enacted Public Law 94–67, was passed, and the bill was signed by President Gerald Ford on September 5.source
I’ve got nothing against his noble horse, Traveller, but fuck Robert E. Lee and the horse he rode in on.
And, word to Merrick Garland, it’s time not to repeat the mistakes of our shared American past. Incitement to violence, incitement to insurrection, a plan to violently thwart the peaceful transfer of power after an election, are big fucking deals in a democracy and prosecuting the organizers, funders and inciters should be at the top of your list, if you want your family to have a country to escape to the next time Nazis are after you.
In 1866 Lee counseled southerners not to resume fighting, of which Grant said Lee was “setting an example of forced acquiescence so grudging and pernicious in its effects as to be hardly realized”. Lee joined with Democrats in opposing the Radical Republicans who demanded punitive measures against the South, distrusted its commitment to the abolition of slavery and, indeed, distrusted the region’s loyalty to the United States. Lee supported a system of free public schools for blacks but forthrightly opposed allowing blacks to vote. “My own opinion is that, at this time, they [black Southerners] cannot vote intelligently, and that giving them the [vote] would lead to a great deal of demagogism, and lead to embarrassments in various ways,” Lee stated. Emory Thomas says Lee had become a suffering Christ-like icon for ex-Confederates. President Grant invited him to the White House in 1869, and he went. Nationally he became an icon of reconciliation between the North and South, and the reintegration of former Confederates into the national fabric.source
In 1953, two stained-glass windows – one honoring Lee, the other Stonewall Jackson – were installed in the Washington National Cathedral. The stained glass of Lee shows him on horseback at Chancellorsville; it was sponsored by the United Daughters of the Confederacy. In 2017, these windows were removed by a vote of the cathedral’s governing board. The cathedral plans to keep the windows and eventually display them in historical context.source
Finally sick of Trumpist governors railing about liberty from government tyranny and ordering mobile morgues for the unvaccinated dying from COVID in their communities, communities where infection rates are far above those of heavily vaccinated areas, places where hospitals and morgues are overflowing again, Biden took to the bully pulpit and ordered millions more to be vaccinated or face large fines for refusing. As Democracy Now! reported this morning:
President Joe Biden: “Despite the fact that for almost five months free vaccines have been available in 80,000 different locations, we still have nearly 80 million Americans who have failed to get the shot. And to make matters worse, there are elected officials actively working to undermine the fight against COVID-19. Instead of encouraging people to get vaccinated and mask up, they’re ordering mobile morgues for the unvaccinated dying from COVID in their communities. This is totally unacceptable.”
The Republican National Committee immediately promised to sue the Biden administration over its vaccine mandates. South Carolina Republican Governor Henry McMaster tweeted, “we will fight them to the gates of hell to protect the liberty and livelihood of every South Carolinian.”source
To the gates of hell, then, see you there, freedom lovers.
If zombies are real, that is.
Wary readers should note that these maps are from today’s New York Times, so there’s that to consider. Dark on the orange to purple map means high infection rates, the darkest are Covid hotspots. Darker on the green vaccination map means higher vaccination rates.
Please note that when I mock the former Confederacy it is their radical right wing leaders I am mocking, the ones who continue to represent, according to their time-honored ways, our Death Sentence Loving Bible belts. The average person in the former Confederacy is about is fucked as the Confederate citizen who opposed slavery during the war, but was obliged to serve in the army of the Confederacy or die by hanging or firing squad.
The correlation between the map of high Covid-19 infection rates, low vaccine rates and the former Confederacy, turf of the strongest Trump support, of course, could be purely a product of the Lyin’ New York Times, and you can confirm that with Q, or Mike Flynn, Sidney Powell, Ron Deathsantis, Kristi Noem, Steve Bannon, Mo Brooks, Lauren Boebert, Ron Johnson of Wisconsin or Roger Stone, for that matter. The NY Times, according to millions, lies more than Lyin’ Ted Cruz, or even the irrepressible Orange Polyp himself!
Check out the color of “moderate” right winger Joe Manchin’s West Virginia on the respective maps. Pale in terms of vaccine density, and going for Mr. Trump in the 70% range  in the stolen, fake, Chinese Communist-rigged election of 2020, they are a nice dark tone on the Covid infection map. Wait, that infection color is supposed to be… ah, never mind. THE PEOPLE REST!
 Damn near a million votes!