Category Archives: “funny”

Negotiators sent by the Orange two year-old “fail”

Iran had already indicated they would not further “negotiate” with real estate mogul/pawns Jared Kushner and Steve Witkoff.   Trump told Iran “fuck you, that’s exactly who you get, assholes,” sending those two nincompoops, supplemented by the experienced, steady hand of the always truthful JD Vance.  JD not long ago reasonably feared Trump was our American Hitler.  Now he serves his authoritarian leader, no matter what.   Not surprisingly, the Iranians found no reason to trust the American “negotiators.”   Hard to blame them, however evil their theocracy also is.  

Here’s what Vance was spouting on the campaign trail about Democratic presidents and stupid wars, when he was not lying about brown people eating white people’s pets:

Of course, there is nothing “stupid” about Trump’s murderous rampage against Iran, whether he can give a reason for it or not. Reasons are for losers, violent, lethal action for winners. One day of failed negotiations proves, to the remaining MAGA base, that Iran is a sick, dangerous, totally obliterated theocracy, “Allah be praised” — to reprise the repeated sick, edgy, blasphemous “burn” of our epically furious two year-old-in-chief. Call it “Operation Shut The FUCK UP, Melania!” Speaking of sick burns, whoever wrote this line for Melania’s shock and awe press conference is a genius “I am not Epstein’s victim. Epstein did not introduce me to Donald Trump.” 

Trump’s instinctual, reptilian survival reasoning is always impeccable. In this case “fuck Melania and her big fucking mouth, I’m using force to shut down the Strait of Hormuz and provoke an international standoff, provoke the rest of the world into military action to stop me, because I fucking can and because, fuck Epstein, when I had him suicided, after we managed to get that French fuck who was going to testify against him suicided in a French prison, that should have been the end of this bullshit hoax that never happened. Those little whores are all liars.”

Likewise, there is no reason to fear what these “transactional” mercenary servants of a criminally insane, demented psychopath will do in our name, except for fear itself, as was famously said in another fearful moment for our nation.  We will get through this fascist threat together, or not.  Victor Orban’s loss today is encouraging –as is him immediately covering defeat– hero that he is to Vance, Trump and our American global authoritarians.  All we can do here is organize, communicate, dissent, refuse to be quiet about the irrational, dangerous actions of our American Hitler.  Isn’t that right, JD?

“I am not Epstein’s victim. Epstein did not introduce me to Donald Trump.”

JD Vance, untruthful? Me, sarcastic?

It’s hard to believe the vice president of the United States would lie, isn’t it? Is not as if he admitted to repeatedly lying about Haitian immigrants (in an Ohio town whose economy they had saved) eating their white neighbors’ dogs, eating their cats. He explained, after his remarks were shown to be false, that his statements, while not truthful, were to wake up Americans to the fact that we are under existential threat from brown people who are not white Christian nationalists. His expressed fear that Donald Trump is the American Hitler, (not an unreasonable fear, actually), yielded to his overweening political ambitions. To put it bluntly, the man tends to be untruthful, when he makes statements of any kind.

Vice President J.D. Vance said there was a “legitimate misunderstanding” about whether the ceasefire included Lebanon. “We never made that promise,” he said. But in fact, Pakistani prime minister Shehbaz Sharif, who posted the terms of the ceasefire on Tuesday, noted that the agreement did include a ceasefire in Lebanon. He tagged Vance in the post. source

Another big lie is almost certainly under way [in Orban’s campaign in Hungary]. While Vance was in Budapest, he claimed that the Ukrainian secret services interfere in elections on the United States and Hungary — an activity that is unknown to the scholarship of the subject, to put it mildly. This was reinforcing a campaign message of Orbán: the tall tale that the Ukrainian secret services had somehow penetrated all of Hungary and were preparing a systematic electoral falsification. When, as i likely, Orbán loses the vote count, he will probably revive this story in some form. Americans might endorse it; they might copy it themselves this fall. It is a comfortable story for Trump and Vance because it inverts the historical fact: that Russia always tries to tilt elections their way. source

The world according to Rupert Murdoch

In Murdoch’s world you’re either a capitalist who doesn’t mind fascism if it lets you make more money or you’re a violent advocate of communist revolution. Black and white thinking is the sole intellectual mode of fascists (and hardline communists too, by the way). If you protest a criminally insane president’s destructive actions — communist or dupe of communists! If you publicly oppose fascism — ANTIFA TERRORIST! The First Amendment, with its protection of political dissent, makes this country ripe for communist agitation and overthrow with its license for every commie in the world to denounce the president and his agenda. Grrrr, grrrr… fucking commies…

Without (or with) irony, Murdoch refers to spineless contortionist Little Marco Rubio as “Florida man”. Usually the term refers to someone who got a body part removed (or worse) as the result of a drunken provocation of an alligator. In this case we have the two Republican “front-runners” legging it toward the finish line for who will succeed Mr. Trump in 2028, after Trump’s maker calls him for his eternal reward. Got to love the charisma exuded in that photo of soul dead, shape shifting opportunist J.D. Vance.

Congressional Republicans showing spine, 2026 edition

A criminally insane madman, raised by a psychopath father who demanded his boys be “killers” (note: Frederick Christ Trump, the president’s father, was conceived in Bavaria before his father was deported from Germany for evading military service — Fred Trump, born here, was an anchor baby) is in charge of the world’s most powerful military. He runs it like dad’s second choice for heir used to run the family business, as an absolute ruler, even if a figurehead while the old man was still running things.

If his bones tell him to do it, he won’t hesitate to commit the military might of the US to whatever his bones tell him must be done. He will act — boldly, impulsively, unaccountably — even if the Constitution places democratic limits on his actions. If 100, or 1,000, or 100,000, or any number at all, American and foreign, have to die, so be it. The cause is not important. War is war, and as Mr. Trump has already stated, it “often” involves killing. Congress has the power to stop this madness by withholding funds for further war, but Republicans have been too afraid of their mad, vengeful leader to oppose him. The other day two Republicans in Congress attempted to stand up straight, a remarkable thing to see.

Yesterday, after a classified briefing, House Armed Services Committee chair Mike Rogers (R-AL), who backed the Iran strikes, told reporters that Congress members “want to know more about what’s going on, what the options are, and why they’re being considered,” adding, “And we’re just not getting enough answers on those questions.” Chair of the Senate Armed Services Committee Roger Wicker (R-MS) commented: “I can see why he might have said that.”

Wow.

While Trump continues with the cute answers to serious questions, when he’s not snapping reporters’ heads off or making violent threats, (he makes the best threats), along with being adorable with the cute remarks:

. . . Trump simply began the Iran war without consultation with Congress, and administration officials have refused to appear at hearings, instead briefing Congress behind closed doors. At an annual fundraising dinner for Republican members of Congress, Trump appeared to acknowledge he was violating the Constitution. He spoke of the “tremendous success” of what he called his “military operation” in Iran. He continued: “I won’t use the word war ’cause they say if you use the word war, that’s maybe not a good thing to do. They don’t like the word war because you are supposed to get approval. So I will use the word military operation.” source for both quotes

Adorable, Donnie.

Shit sandwich

I love the way the New York Times implies that Trump, who is as empathetic and ethical as his long-time friend Jeff, really wanted to, and actually did, give masses of Americans significant tax breaks, when 99% of the tax cuts went to people who are already billionaires. You’ve got to love the poker face on that Grey Lady…

Putin uses Trump as a sex toy

The classified military documents the cash-strapped Trump most likely sold to trusted buddies like Putin, Mohammed bin Bonesaw and others probably helped the Russians give Iran the exact locations of strategic targets. The Art of the Deal, yo.

Nazi enough for you?

While the NY Times frames things, often using the word “suggest”, to suggest everything is more or less normal, the abnormality of our criminal regime continues unabated.  

Secretary of Maximum Lethality, Pete “War is Hell” Hegseth, spent over $93,000,000,000 in use it or lose it funds in September 2025, with no blowback. Hey, if he didn’t spend it all … it would have been waste, (not to mention abuse and fraud).  On the other hand, Representative Nancy Mace, by signing a petition that allowed for the possibility of humiliation for Trump, simply for the fact that he loves beautiful women as much as Jeffrey Epstein did, and often they were on the younger side, (it is said) opened herself to a House Ethics Committee investigation of a $9,500 alleged overpayment to herself for her housing in Washington DC.   Fair is fair.  Nazis will be Nazis.   Here’s Heather:

That argument [that Congress has the sole power to declare war and allocate funds for war] is potent again almost 250 years later. Democrats are calling out that Trump is spending $1 billion a day in his attacks on Iran but that he slashed through government programs that help Americans, claiming the need to address the country’s ballooning national debt. Just yesterday, Berkeley Lovelace Jr. of NBC News reported that Dr. Mehmet Oz, the administration official overseeing the Affordable Care Act, says that many of those enrolled in healthcare under the law should not be there. About 23 million people signed up for ACA coverage this year, down by more than 1.2 million from last year. Oz anticipates cutting another 4 million off the rolls as he targets “waste, fraud, and abuse.”

And yet, as Ellie Quinlan Houghtaling of The New Republic noted last night, according to a report from government watchdog Open the Books, the Pentagon under Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth blew through $93.4 billion in September 2025 alone, with more than $50 billion going out in the last five days of the month alone.

To spend the entirety of the defense budget, rather than lose it, Pentagon officials bought “a $98,329 Steinway & Sons grand piano for the Air Force chief of staff’s home, $5.3 million for Apple devices such as the new iPad, and an astronomical amount of shellfish, including $2 million for Alaskan king crab and $6.9 million worth of lobster tail. (Lobster tail is apparently a favorite of Hegseth’s Pentagon—the department spent more than $7.4 million total on the luxury item in March, May, June, and October.) In other pricey food purchases, the government decided to drop $15.1 million for ribeye steak (again, just in September), $124,000 for ice cream machines, and $139,224 on 272 orders of doughnuts.”

In October, Houghtaling noted, the administration said it could not fund the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP), formerly known as food stamps, because the government had shut down. Millions of Americans lost food benefits. source

Waste, fraud and abuse for thee, well-deserved perks for me!

That $1 billion a day figure for Trump’s war in Iran might be a little bit low, maybe by 100% or so. The New York Times reports:

The most transparent administration in US history, it was revealed, has more good news for the citizens:

There are major societal implications for that war. It is already costing at least $1 billion a day, and administration officials have suggested they are going to ask Congress for more money for it. That request will come on top of the news of March 10 that, according to the Congressional Budget Office, the U.S. has borrowed $1 trillion over the past five months—that’s $50 billion a week on average—as Trump’s tax cuts slash revenue.   source

Admittedly, some Iranian children (and others) are being killed, a DOD “preliminary” investigation shows that the missile that hit the girls’ school on Day One was an American one; the most unstable region on Earth has been radically destabilized, apparently at the behest of the rightwing expansionist Prime Minister of Israel, who stayed with the Kushners in New Jersey and remained buddies with now-Ambassador Charles Kushner; there is a widespread effort across the government to cover up crimes in many departments of the federal government, as well as ethical violations, (which are a thing of the past, if done by good people); the Epstein Files Transparency Act, signed into law by President Trump, is being actively thwarted by Trump’s former criminal and impeachment attorneys who now run the Department of Justice; and Trump is quietly borrowing 50 billion a week to fund all this, BUT — there’s really nothing to see here.

The US Department of Obstruction of Justice, in conjunction with the Department of Maximum Lethality, the Department of Destruction of Public Education and “History” Erasure, and the president’s taskforce on Why Are Blacks and Dead People Still Allowed to Vote, have issued a joint statement. It reads, in full, “Sir YES, sir!”

Recent polling suggests that everything is still completely normal here in the land of the free and the home of the brave.