Category Archives: “funny”

Nothing to see here, dummies!

Trump’s/Official MAGA’s position:

Enough with the Epstein hoax! All he did was, allegedly, ALLEGEDLY, sexually “abuse” a few dozen underaged teenagers, teenaged prostitutes who claim they were “sexually abused” but were all paid, these “victims”. A bunch of little hookers, if you want to know the truth. And Epstein, who I knew only in passing, is dead, so case closed, he killed himself, whatever the conspiracy theorists are saying about the complete unaltered video footage my 100% transparent DOJ released of his final minutes before his suicide. Bill Barr confirmed that it was suicide.

My DOJ fired the corrupt prosecutor, Comey’s daughter, who got the conviction of Ghislaine Maxwell, a woman I wish well (Ghislaine, not Maureen Comey!), and my former criminal attorney, #2 at DOJ (and smells like it too) got assurances from her, in ten hours of recent prison interviews, that, no matter how many times the alleged 1,000 person FBI team allegedly had to redact my name from the so-called Epstein files (which don’t exist) I had nothing to do with those young beauties Epstein was paying for sex.

In fact, Ghislaine praised me personally, and as president, and called me a perfect “gentleman” (which is why all of my phone calls are perfect) regarding the young gold-diggers-for-hire Epstein ALLEGEDLY surrounded himself with. What possible motive could that fine, well-born English woman, youngest daughter of my good friend Robert Maxwell, have for lying about my innocence? Think about that, you hapless Trump Derangement Syndrome sufferers. Thank you for your attention to this very unimportant matter!

Nothing to hear here! Epstein is a lying pedophile who committed suicide! I barely knew him!!!

Trump: OUT OF CONTROL Smithsonian ignores the good side of slavery!

Here’s the malignant Orange Polyp in his own words, from Maureen Dowd’s Trump’s Slavish Stupidity:

Trump is unmoved. He wants to live in the Whiter House. On Truth Social, he ranted: “The Smithsonian is OUT OF CONTROL, where everything discussed is how horrible our Country is, how bad Slavery was, and how unaccomplished the downtrodden have been — Nothing about Success, nothing about Brightness, nothing about the Future,” adding, “This Country cannot be WOKE, because WOKE IS BROKE.”

He said that he had “instructed my attorneys to go through the Museums, and start the exact same process that has been done with Colleges and Universities where tremendous progress has been made.”

This is from Dan Rather, in a post called Culture Crash:

The American Alliance of Museums countered. “Freedom of thought and expression are foundational American values, and museums uphold them by creating spaces where people can engage with history, science, art, and culture in ways that are honest, fact-based, and thought-provoking.”

Honest, fact-based thought is exactly what this president is trying to extinguish.

Project 2025’s pet boy, Mr. Angry Incoherence himself, unveils his new portrait, a tour de force of WTF.

The Grey Lady is so well-mannered!

How much nicer is her headline and lede than something I’d write after the same events?  It is such a higher tone to resist making a reference to his famous “concept of a plan”, “alternative truth” and “fake news witch hunt!”.

or, as someone with far less class than the ever classy NY Times (me) would style it:

Incompetent dictator aspirant, following fascist playbook, relies on empty spectacle to obscure lack of governing skills and nefarious antisocial agenda.

Trump rolls out red carpet on US soil, and applauds, for spymaster, kleptocrat, political assassin, kidnapper of 20,000 Ukrainian children, orderer of mass graves for civilians, multifaceted war criminal, his idol, his Excellency, the President of Russia.

vs.

Which headline takes us closer to the challenging truth we need to grasp, before we are among the enemies being rounded up?

When a psychopath also has dementia

I’m not a psychiatrist, and American psychiatry at the moment only recognizes psychopaths who are antisocial enough to be arrested and locked up for criminal behavior (Antisocial Personality Disorder, “APD” [1] ) but the scary clown in the Oval Office fits all the criteria for what used to be called psychopathy.   All of his relationships are strictly transactional, he pursues only narrow self-interest, ignores laws and norms, is impulsive and incapable of empathy or regret.  Now, increasingly, daily, he exhibits signs of senility.   This is from Heather Cox Richardson’s Letter from an American, last night:

At [yesterday’s] meetings, Trump repeated Russian talking points, complained about how poorly he is treated, said he had ended six wars, insisted that voting in the U.S. is full of fraud, and suggested he would cancel the 2028 elections. By the late afternoon, the president was unable to recognize President Stubb, who was sitting directly across the table from him. “President Stubb of Finland,” Trump said. Looking around, Trump continued: “And he’s uh, he’s somebody that, where are we here? Huh? Where? Where?” Stubb said, “I’m right here.” Trump focused on him and answered: “Oh. You look better than I’ve ever seen you look.”

This evening, CNN senior White House correspondent Kristen Holmes reported that Trump paused his negotiation with European leaders to call Vladimir Putin. Her source said that European leaders were not present for the conversation. Ivan Nechepurenko of the New York Times reported that the call was forty minutes long. source

I don’t know why Trump WOULD call Putin, in the middle of a meeting with Zelensky and European leaders about ending the war Putin started, the war against civilians Putin prosecutes mercilessly, including as Zelensky was flying to war-ravaged, crime-infested, national emergency DC to meet Trump.   I don’t know why Trump WOULDN’T call Putin.   He greatly admires the Russian dictator, and Putin, master of spy craft, kleptocrat, political assassin, aggressor in an unprovoked war, kidnapper of 20,000 Ukrainian children, orderer of mass graves for executed Ukrainian civilians, multifaceted war criminal, his idol, his Excellency, the beloved perpetual President of Russia, likely has his 79 year-old protege by the balls somehow.

Could His Excellency have a copy of pertinent sections of the thousands of hours of secret video Trump’s old buddy Jeff used to take, of his powerful guests enjoying some sneaky fun with fourteen year old girls?

You never know what someone as highly moral as Jesus Christ’s personal pick to be the 45th and 47th president is capable of.  History shows pretty convincingly that nothing is beyond his impulsive imagination, since he lives in a world of his own creation where he is the incomparable superstar around which everything else in the universe worshipfully rotates.  

Hopefully his advancing dementia takes him off the fascist billionaires’ chessboard sooner rather than way too late for humanity. Let charismatic, hugely popular President JD Vance try to run the sinking ship of the United States of MAGA/Project 2025.

“He [Putin] said, ‘No country has mail-in voting—it’s impossible to have mail-in voting and have honest elections.’ And he said that to me. It was very interesting, because we talked about 2020. He said, ‘You won that election by so much, and that’s how he [President Biden] got it… you lost it because of mail-in voting. It was a rigged election.’”

[1] click the blurb for the rest of the article on APD

Here are the American Psychiatric Association’s diagnostic criteria for APD, this list make you think of anyone?

My man scores better on this than the genius score he got on the test for dementia that he’s still bragging about!

Tragedy is inevitable when mass media lets a powerful idiot [1] doublespeak without correction

In 2018, in Helsinki, when Trump met with his idol Putin, after a secret one on one meeting their translators were ordered to destroy all notes of, he contradicted his own intelligence services about well-documented Russian meddling in the 2016 election (“The Russiagate Hoax” according to MAGA orthodoxy).  In answer to a question he said, standing next to his close friend, Vladimir,  “I don’t see any reason why Russia would have meddled in the election.”  The next day, after backlash, Trump clarified that he’d meant to say exactly the opposite of what he’d actually said, as so many of us so often do.  He claimed to have been tripped up by the double negative in that sentence.  A nice sixty second video of him making both statements appears here.  In any event, the idiotic, lying retraction was seemingly accepted by corporate media without much of a ripple.

He’s up to the same thing seven years later, his main trick, the only thing he really is an expert at, continually lying to cover up, or at least muddy, his other lies. Before the summit with the aggressor in the Russia-Ukraine war Trump said he would not walk away without a cease fire and would impose serious sanctions on Russia. After the aborted meeting, where, after public fawning by Mr. Trump, who applauded his Russian counterpart as he walked the red carpet, a ceasefire and sanctions were both taken off the table, Trump beamed about confirmation of one of his pet theories by Mr. Putin.

Putin himself said, Trump proudly reported, that Trump won by a mile in 2020, that mail-in voting guarantees massive fraud (see Heritage Foundation’s own voter fraud database [2] for definitive disproof of this widespread far right myth, snarlingly parroted by Bill Barr publicly before the 2020 election), and that’s why he “lost” a rigged election Biden cheated in with fraudulent votes.  So Putin PROVED that Trump’s claims are correct and all the so-called Election Truthers, a crazed offshoot of those who opposed the Birthers and the incredibly smart Flat Earthers, are big, fat, smelly liars.  “I don’t know why Vladimir WOULD lie about the certain fraud of mail in voting?” His takeaway from Putin’s confirmation of this pernicious anti-democratic myth? US only country to use infamously corrupt mail-in voting (although Putin’s Russia allows mail-in and internet voting, as do dozens of democracies). That would have to be scored: Putin lies, Trump lies.

Putin, the world’s wealthiest dictator, is a KGB trained expert at manipulation, intimidation and murder, and Trump is transparently the easiest president in American history to manipulate.  Tell him he’s great, that he doesn’t smell bad, that he’s a genius and he will eat whatever you’re holding right out of your hand.   This is the secret to Stephen Miller’s and Laura Loomer’s great success, they are experts at making Trump feel powerful, infallible, invulnerable, the greatest winner ever and not a deviantly corrupt, mentally unbalanced old man visibly losing his tenuous grip on reality with every passing day.

Meanwhile, as a result of the Artist of the Deal’s masterful negotiation with his master, Vladimir Putin, Russian tanks ravaging Ukraine today are flying Russian and American flags. USA!  USA!!!

By the way, I love this picture of Putin, taken the other day while Trump hosted the war criminal in “Russia”, or Alaska, or whatever. Thank you to Rapert Murdoch’s NY Post.

“Trump is greatest ever”

[1] Apologies for the outdated, now offensive term. “Stupid” or “dumb” just didn’t seem to do it.

[2] These slick, lying Nazis, authors of Trump’s blueprint for American Autocracy, Project 2025, have made the actual database quite a bit harder to access, after years of showing detailed findings of the vanishingly rare, statistically insignificant amount of voting fraud since 1982, a rate almost as low as the proportion of multibillionaires (like the owners of the Heritage Foundation) in the general population.

Senator Sheldon Whitehouse makes irrefutable case for Bove’s unfitness for office

Three major examples of prosecutorial misconduct in his short six month tenure in Trump’s DOJ, including a contempt hearing delayed for months by two Trump judges on the DC Circuit appeals court (until their colleague can be appointed to a lifetime post on the federal bench), and the creepy Emil Bove, Trump’s modern day Roy Cohn, is put up for a party line vote without any further debate or questioning.

Voted in for life with a 50-49 mandate!

In his honor, here is Trump’s tribute poem to Bove, himself, the Deep State and Project 2025.

Glitchbots gone wild!

Elon Musk, a quirky humanoid glitchbot who does his best to appear human, recently corrected his AI creation Grok to stay away from the woke virus of political correctness. Ooops, over-correction (or maybe not).

Fucking Nazi glitchbots, the future of Artificial Idiocy, modeled on the moral obtuseness of their glitchy creators.

Two months ago, and today

Clipped this one minute from a great Seth Meyer’s Closer Look showing a childishly petulant Elon Musk whining about what a jerk Tim Walz was for mocking Musk as Tesla share prices plummeted. I was unable to embed it here as a short youTube video, but it is very much worth a sixty second gander. Well-done, Seth. Everyone should be seeing this twenty second tour de force of childishness by one of world’s most inhuman “geniuses” on a loop. What a colossal whiner this cartoon evil “genius” Great Replacement Theory embracing / race to colonize Mars is existential asshole is.

https://youtube.com/clip/UgkxbeeFmjoSd-62QRp0Kqk2anzi2FwfMXwN?si=TBVcpf-xPzHJa515

Today I received this ad from Elon Musk on youTube. When you have a shit ton of billions you can tolerate losing or gaining $150,000,000,000 or so at a time and giving things away for free to tens of millions of citizens without even feeling it. Makes you look generous too, giving away free hats, like those million dollar checks to Pennsylvania voters who signed on to the Biden Crime Family story. My hat’s off to yer, Elon. Go back to South Africa, you Nazi fuck, will you?

But first will you send me one of those cool collector’s item hats, man?

I am human, not a glitchbot

Not for nothing, but have you ever seen a more insane looking self-portrait used to promote a person’s mad cause?

Rabid Rat Fight

The grotesquely wealthy far-right psychos and their megachurch evangelical allies who own, and the network of professional ratfuckers who now operate our government, behind these two obscenely wealthy, clearly addled psychopaths (Trump and Musk) are probably not very concerned about this cage match. However it goes, they have their morally retarded Ivy League boy standing by, like the Proud Boys once did, to take over as president, once Trump goes down, one way or the other. I have to say, though, it is fun to watch these two outgassing sphincters clawing at each other this way.