A relic found while cleaning the other day
Category Archives: “funny”
Comedic genius plays to quiet room
This great opening, comic gold, like the new, real 24 karat ornamentation in the Oval Office, was met with restrained laughter from the 800 top US military leaders forced to assemble at Quantico, from around the world, for a speech/photo op by the newly dubbed Secretary of War and the commander-in-chief himself.
As with any comedian, you really need to hear the bit from the comic’s own mouth. The laugh comes from the music of the delivery.
If I were them, I probably wouldn’t have done more than laugh politely either, although personally, not being a military man myself, I find the gag darkly hilterious. Got to give props to our Genius-in-Chief, whether those stodgy generals and admirals are cool enough to get his sharp sense of humor, after their long, compelled journeys, or not.
Listen to this brilliant deadpan parody of Joe Biden at the debate Mr. T improvised for his audience of 800 military leaders
The master continues his brilliant work, owning the cucks, as he forces them to shut down the government, with some puckish AI and a nice cut and paste of a sombrero and mustache for the hapless brown skinned guy!
USA! USA!!!
Stark Raving Mad
Heather Cox Richardson, not AI, describes the speech President Project 2025 delivered at the UN last week:
Trump’s speech went on to depict a fantasy world in which he had single-handedly saved the world. He claimed to have forged peace on two continents during his first term but said that “era of calm and stability gave way to one of the great crises of our time.” He then turned to the United States, claiming that “four years of weakness, lawlessness, and radicalism under the last administration delivered our nation into a repeated set of disasters. One year ago,” he said, “our country was in deep trouble, but today, just eight months into my administration, we are the hottest country anywhere in the world and there is no other country even close. America is blessed with the strongest economy, the strongest borders, the strongest military, the strongest friendships, and the strongest spirit of any nation on the face of the earth.”
And that was the frame for the next hour of rambling boasts and insults.
Trump claimed that he had reversed the “economic calamity” left by former president Joe Biden. He had brought down costs and inflation, he said, and economic growth and manufacturing were both booming. He claimed that in his four years, Biden had attracted less than $1 trillion in investment while he had secured $17 trillion. Tax cuts and deregulation had, he said, made the U.S. “the best country on earth to do business.”
“In my first term, I built the greatest economy in the history of the world,” he said. “We had the best economy ever, history of the world, and I’m doing the same thing again, but this time it’s actually much bigger and even better. The numbers far surpass my record-setting first term.”
Trump claimed: “On the world stage, America is respected again like it has never been respected before. You think about two years ago, three years ago, four years ago, or one year ago, we were a laughingstock all over the world.
Nothing to see here! Witch hunt!
Would I be out of line, on the day thousands of the faithful are lining up for a mega-MAGA memorial service for slain MAGA icon Charlie Kirk, to note that these accidentally publicly divulged messages to his “apolitical” Attorney General come off as the ravings of an even whinier version of history’s own Mr. Hitler?
I hasten to add, to be scrupulously fair, that Bill Clinton got off a plane to speak, secretly, with Obama’s US Attorney General while his wife was a candidate trying to illegally steal the US election for president in 2016 after conspiring with George Soros!
One can’t be too careful these days.
Nothing to see here, dummies!
Trump’s/Official MAGA’s position:
Enough with the Epstein hoax! All he did was, allegedly, ALLEGEDLY, sexually “abuse” a few dozen underaged teenagers, teenaged prostitutes who claim they were “sexually abused” but were all paid, these “victims”. A bunch of little hookers, if you want to know the truth. And Epstein, who I knew only in passing, is dead, so case closed, he killed himself, whatever the conspiracy theorists are saying about the complete unaltered video footage my 100% transparent DOJ released of his final minutes before his suicide. Bill Barr confirmed that it was suicide.
My DOJ fired the corrupt prosecutor, Comey’s daughter, who got the conviction of Ghislaine Maxwell, a woman I wish well (Ghislaine, not Maureen Comey!), and my former criminal attorney, #2 at DOJ (and smells like it too) got assurances from her, in ten hours of recent prison interviews, that, no matter how many times the alleged 1,000 person FBI team allegedly had to redact my name from the so-called Epstein files (which don’t exist) I had nothing to do with those young beauties Epstein was paying for sex.
In fact, Ghislaine praised me personally, and as president, and called me a perfect “gentleman” (which is why all of my phone calls are perfect) regarding the young gold-diggers-for-hire Epstein ALLEGEDLY surrounded himself with. What possible motive could that fine, well-born English woman, youngest daughter of my good friend Robert Maxwell, have for lying about my innocence? Think about that, you hapless Trump Derangement Syndrome sufferers. Thank you for your attention to this very unimportant matter!
Trump: OUT OF CONTROL Smithsonian ignores the good side of slavery!
Here’s the malignant Orange Polyp in his own words, from Maureen Dowd’s Trump’s Slavish Stupidity:
Trump is unmoved. He wants to live in the Whiter House. On Truth Social, he ranted: “The Smithsonian is OUT OF CONTROL, where everything discussed is how horrible our Country is, how bad Slavery was, and how unaccomplished the downtrodden have been — Nothing about Success, nothing about Brightness, nothing about the Future,” adding, “This Country cannot be WOKE, because WOKE IS BROKE.”
He said that he had “instructed my attorneys to go through the Museums, and start the exact same process that has been done with Colleges and Universities where tremendous progress has been made.”
This is from Dan Rather, in a post called Culture Crash:
The American Alliance of Museums countered. “Freedom of thought and expression are foundational American values, and museums uphold them by creating spaces where people can engage with history, science, art, and culture in ways that are honest, fact-based, and thought-provoking.”
Honest, fact-based thought is exactly what this president is trying to extinguish.
Project 2025’s pet boy, Mr. Angry Incoherence himself, unveils his new portrait, a tour de force of WTF.
The Grey Lady is so well-mannered!
How much nicer is her headline and lede than something I’d write after the same events? It is such a higher tone to resist making a reference to his famous “concept of a plan”, “alternative truth” and “fake news witch hunt!”.
or, as someone with far less class than the ever classy NY Times (me) would style it:
Incompetent dictator aspirant, following fascist playbook, relies on empty spectacle to obscure lack of governing skills and nefarious antisocial agenda.
Trump rolls out red carpet on US soil, and applauds, for spymaster, kleptocrat, political assassin, kidnapper of 20,000 Ukrainian children, orderer of mass graves for civilians, multifaceted war criminal, his idol, his Excellency, the President of Russia.
vs.
Which headline takes us closer to the challenging truth we need to grasp, before we are among the enemies being rounded up?
When a psychopath also has dementia
I’m not a psychiatrist, and American psychiatry at the moment only recognizes psychopaths who are antisocial enough to be arrested and locked up for criminal behavior (Antisocial Personality Disorder, “APD” [1] ) but the scary clown in the Oval Office fits all the criteria for what used to be called psychopathy. All of his relationships are strictly transactional, he pursues only narrow self-interest, ignores laws and norms, is impulsive and incapable of empathy or regret. Now, increasingly, daily, he exhibits signs of senility. This is from Heather Cox Richardson’s Letter from an American, last night:
At [yesterday’s] meetings, Trump repeated Russian talking points, complained about how poorly he is treated, said he had ended six wars, insisted that voting in the U.S. is full of fraud, and suggested he would cancel the 2028 elections. By the late afternoon, the president was unable to recognize President Stubb, who was sitting directly across the table from him. “President Stubb of Finland,” Trump said. Looking around, Trump continued: “And he’s uh, he’s somebody that, where are we here? Huh? Where? Where?” Stubb said, “I’m right here.” Trump focused on him and answered: “Oh. You look better than I’ve ever seen you look.”
This evening, CNN senior White House correspondent Kristen Holmes reported that Trump paused his negotiation with European leaders to call Vladimir Putin. Her source said that European leaders were not present for the conversation. Ivan Nechepurenko of the New York Times reported that the call was forty minutes long. source
I don’t know why Trump WOULD call Putin, in the middle of a meeting with Zelensky and European leaders about ending the war Putin started, the war against civilians Putin prosecutes mercilessly, including as Zelensky was flying to war-ravaged, crime-infested, national emergency DC to meet Trump. I don’t know why Trump WOULDN’T call Putin. He greatly admires the Russian dictator, and Putin, master of spy craft, kleptocrat, political assassin, aggressor in an unprovoked war, kidnapper of 20,000 Ukrainian children, orderer of mass graves for executed Ukrainian civilians, multifaceted war criminal, his idol, his Excellency, the beloved perpetual President of Russia, likely has his 79 year-old protege by the balls somehow.
Could His Excellency have a copy of pertinent sections of the thousands of hours of secret video Trump’s old buddy Jeff used to take, of his powerful guests enjoying some sneaky fun with fourteen year old girls?
You never know what someone as highly moral as Jesus Christ’s personal pick to be the 45th and 47th president is capable of. History shows pretty convincingly that nothing is beyond his impulsive imagination, since he lives in a world of his own creation where he is the incomparable superstar around which everything else in the universe worshipfully rotates.
Hopefully his advancing dementia takes him off the fascist billionaires’ chessboard sooner rather than way too late for humanity. Let charismatic, hugely popular President JD Vance try to run the sinking ship of the United States of MAGA/Project 2025.
“He [Putin] said, ‘No country has mail-in voting—it’s impossible to have mail-in voting and have honest elections.’ And he said that to me. It was very interesting, because we talked about 2020. He said, ‘You won that election by so much, and that’s how he [President Biden] got it… you lost it because of mail-in voting. It was a rigged election.’”
[1] click the blurb for the rest of the article on APD
Here are the American Psychiatric Association’s diagnostic criteria for APD, this list make you think of anyone?
My man scores better on this than the genius score he got on the test for dementia that he’s still bragging about!
Tragedy is inevitable when mass media lets a powerful idiot [1] doublespeak without correction
In 2018, in Helsinki, when Trump met with his idol Putin, after a secret one on one meeting their translators were ordered to destroy all notes of, he contradicted his own intelligence services about well-documented Russian meddling in the 2016 election (“The Russiagate Hoax” according to MAGA orthodoxy). In answer to a question he said, standing next to his close friend, Vladimir, “I don’t see any reason why Russia would have meddled in the election.” The next day, after backlash, Trump clarified that he’d meant to say exactly the opposite of what he’d actually said, as so many of us so often do. He claimed to have been tripped up by the double negative in that sentence. A nice sixty second video of him making both statements appears here. In any event, the idiotic, lying retraction was seemingly accepted by corporate media without much of a ripple.
He’s up to the same thing seven years later, his main trick, the only thing he really is an expert at, continually lying to cover up, or at least muddy, his other lies. Before the summit with the aggressor in the Russia-Ukraine war Trump said he would not walk away without a cease fire and would impose serious sanctions on Russia. After the aborted meeting, where, after public fawning by Mr. Trump, who applauded his Russian counterpart as he walked the red carpet, a ceasefire and sanctions were both taken off the table, Trump beamed about confirmation of one of his pet theories by Mr. Putin.
Putin himself said, Trump proudly reported, that Trump won by a mile in 2020, that mail-in voting guarantees massive fraud (see Heritage Foundation’s own voter fraud database [2] for definitive disproof of this widespread far right myth, snarlingly parroted by Bill Barr publicly before the 2020 election), and that’s why he “lost” a rigged election Biden cheated in with fraudulent votes. So Putin PROVED that Trump’s claims are correct and all the so-called Election Truthers, a crazed offshoot of those who opposed the Birthers and the incredibly smart Flat Earthers, are big, fat, smelly liars. “I don’t know why Vladimir WOULD lie about the certain fraud of mail in voting?” His takeaway from Putin’s confirmation of this pernicious anti-democratic myth? US only country to use infamously corrupt mail-in voting (although Putin’s Russia allows mail-in and internet voting, as do dozens of democracies). That would have to be scored: Putin lies, Trump lies.
Putin, the world’s wealthiest dictator, is a KGB trained expert at manipulation, intimidation and murder, and Trump is transparently the easiest president in American history to manipulate. Tell him he’s great, that he doesn’t smell bad, that he’s a genius and he will eat whatever you’re holding right out of your hand. This is the secret to Stephen Miller’s and Laura Loomer’s great success, they are experts at making Trump feel powerful, infallible, invulnerable, the greatest winner ever and not a deviantly corrupt, mentally unbalanced old man visibly losing his tenuous grip on reality with every passing day.
Meanwhile, as a result of the Artist of the Deal’s masterful negotiation with his master, Vladimir Putin, Russian tanks ravaging Ukraine today are flying Russian and American flags. USA! USA!!!
By the way, I love this picture of Putin, taken the other day while Trump hosted the war criminal in “Russia”, or Alaska, or whatever. Thank you to Rapert Murdoch’s NY Post.
[1] Apologies for the outdated, now offensive term. “Stupid” or “dumb” just didn’t seem to do it.
[2] These slick, lying Nazis, authors of Trump’s blueprint for American Autocracy, Project 2025, have made the actual database quite a bit harder to access, after years of showing detailed findings of the vanishingly rare, statistically insignificant amount of voting fraud since 1982, a rate almost as low as the proportion of multibillionaires (like the owners of the Heritage Foundation) in the general population.
Senator Sheldon Whitehouse makes irrefutable case for Bove’s unfitness for office
Three major examples of prosecutorial misconduct in his short six month tenure in Trump’s DOJ, including a contempt hearing delayed for months by two Trump judges on the DC Circuit appeals court (until their colleague can be appointed to a lifetime post on the federal bench), and the creepy Emil Bove, Trump’s modern day Roy Cohn, is put up for a party line vote without any further debate or questioning.
Voted in for life with a 50-49 mandate!
In his honor, here is Trump’s tribute poem to Bove, himself, the Deep State and Project 2025.
gratuitousblahg 