Category Archives: “funny”

Why the Orange shit-bomber keeps Congress shut down

There are several compelling reasons, including enabling President Project 2025 to make unilateral, “plenary” decisions on everything in government (illegal demolition breaking a promise, another mass firing spree, $40,000,000,000 to his fascist buddy in Argentina, $172,000,000 for Kristi Noem’s two private jets, $250,000,000 for the Marie Antoinette Ballroom, $230,000,000 for him, restitution for the Biden witch hunts), since he alone is up and running, having ordered MAGA Mike to shut everything down and keep lying that the Democrat (sic) party is to blame.  Trump’s criminal behavior can’t be questioned (see 6-3 Trump v. US), not the destruction of the east wing of the White House, not the international war crime of murdering now at least 34 unarmed noncombatants he has designated narco-terrorists, also not the release, pardon and hiring of countless heavily armed January 6th rioters, in masks, employed by ICE to act as Trump’s lawless shock troops in American cities. 

Number one on this grotesque giant baby’s list of concerns is delaying/preventing the release of the infamous Epstein files. Recall that Kashyap Pramod Patel reassigned 1,000 FBI agents to 24 hour shifts to search for and delete Trump’s name from the files, proving the Orange Polyp had absolutely nothing to hide. Adelita Grijalva, vote number 218 in the House to get release of these files, elected a month ago, has had to sue Mike Johnson and the Hump administration to get sworn in so she can represent her majority Hispanic constituents.

MAGA Mike, a brazen liar as relentless and prolific as the man he loves, has spouted a series of angry talking points, making as much sense as his demented, mad boss. He blames Pelosi, Democrats and a series of demons, as evil as the personal ones that keep the cherub-faced liar up sweating at night. PBS, who his boss defunded in the “clean budget”, notes, of Johnson’s month of stonewalling the swearing in of a duly elected member of Congress:

On April 2, Johnson swore in Republican Reps. Jimmy Patronis and Randy Fine, both of Florida, less than 24 hours after they won their special elections, during a pro forma session.

Johnson says the circumstances were unique because the House had unexpectedly gone out of session that day. Patronis and Fine had already arranged for their families, friends and supporters to be in Washington.

Fuck that twerp puto.

Meantime, in a cosmic bit of timing, the memoir of Virginia Giuffre, an Epstein sex slave who ended her life at 41 (demonstrating once more that the harm of being raped lasts forever) came out the other day. Here’s a slice:

Giuffre writes, quote, “In my years with them, they lent me out to scores of wealthy, powerful people. I was habitually used and humiliated — and in some instances, choked, beaten, and bloodied. I believed that I might die a sex slave,” she said. Virginia also details how she was forced to have sex with Prince Andrew three times, beginning when she was 17. Virginia also said she was beaten and raped by a “well-known prime minister.”

Virginia Giuffre died reportedly by suicide earlier this year in Australia at age 41. Nobody’s Girl was completed just before she died. In the book’s foreword, her collaborator, Amy Wallace, describes an email from Virginia shortly before she died that read in part, quote, “The content of this book is crucial as it aims to shed light on the systemic failures that allow the trafficking of vulnerable individuals across borders. It is imperative that the truth is understood and that the issues surrounding this topic are addressed, both for the sake of justice and awareness. In the event of my passing, I would like to ensure that Nobody’s Girl is still released,” she said.

source

I hope to God that the “well-known prime minister” was not fucking Bibi Netanyahu (oy! it appears to be former prime minister Ehud Barak…). Could things get any worse for the Jews right now? Could there be more fuel for antisemites? If a Jewish prime minister was one of Epstein’s “partying,” girl beating, minor-raping buddies, how much worse for the Jews would that be? Not bad enough we have an actual fucking Jewish Nazi, psychopathic vampire Stephen Miller, in charge of vilifying, humiliating, terrorizing and harshly punishing people guilty only of being brown, speaking Spanish and being hardworking day workers. As Mafia strongman Meyer Lansky observed, “it’s hard to be a Jew.” Dig it.

Right on, brother

Extremely weak, brah:

This was posted on the Trump Whitehouse’s official Twitter feed after the No Kings protest, allegedly, allegedly:

Just kids having fun in the days leading up to Halloween.

Nobody can fail to see the good humor in this AI video posted by the Big Guy in response to the fake No Kings demonstrations. Trump dropped this on his “social media” platform Truth Social, a name that speaks for itself. Few national leaders in world history would have had the courage and honesty to respond to hateful protesters in such a clearly good natured and playful way. It shows the man’s tremendous self-confidence, I say. Check it out.

George Soros gave us all the same signs!

George Soros distributed all these signs to the 7,000,000 Americans who turned out for the second No King’s Day today, setting a record for the largest national protest in the US (all paid for by one guy).  Oddly, not one demonstration-related arrest was reported in New York City, war torn Portland, Washington D.C. etc., in spite of all the MAGA hype about No Kings being a Hamas, Antifa, violent criminal Hate America rally. 

In fairness to the administration, note that all of the pro-Hamas, antifa, America-hating signs are identical (since they were bought and given out by one man, George Santos, er, Soros, George Soros!). A pathetic attempt to manufacture some kind of false show of distaste for the delicious and incredibly great Donald J. Trump.

From a local No Kings demonstration in Queens, NY (a mile from where Trump grew up):

Identical Soros signs in Chicago:

On the other hand, millions of Americans, in numbers never seen before, love the delicious Donald J. Trump and are very creative in expressing that love.

Trump’s five dimensional chess checkmate move on the eve of No Kings Two!

Millions are expected to participate in over 2,500 No Kings rallies across the United States tomorrow. MAGA has been all over corporate media speaking in one voice. They are all calling this a Hate America Rally by paid operatives, carrying identical signs (proof of conspiracy), all terrorists, the worst kinds of violent criminals (and pedophiles, it goes without saying), in fact, the fake rally is pro-Hamas and anti-fascist! Paid protesters hired by George Soros (soon to be under IRS investigation along with other Marxist Democrat donors) and Hamas (Qatar funding this one too?), stupid, angry people who irrationally hate good old American fascism as much as they hate Jesus Christ, Civil War Heroes of the South and even Charlie Kirk.

Trump played his part today, masterful five dimensional chess to those who love him. The hate America, anti-fascist, pro-Hamas wing, that deluded 65% of our country, may look at this inspired move differently, but you be the judge.

Don’t call us Nazis, Jew

People who find gas chambers funny, text “I love Hitler,” applaud rape and slavery, chide those who would ever trust “the Jew” and unironically use words like “nigger” and “faggot”, resent very much being called Nazis. After a massive trove of their Nazi approving texts was leaked, more than one, by way of apology, accused nefarious enemies of doctoring the texts to make the group of Young Republicans look bad [1].

NEW YORK — Leaders of Young Republican groups throughout the country worried what would happen if their Telegram chat ever got leaked, but they kept typing anyway.

They referred to Black people as monkeys and “the watermelon people” and mused about putting their political opponents in gas chambers. They talked about raping their enemies and driving them to suicide and lauded Republicans who they believed support slavery. source

It’s easy to understand their sensitivity, since these are things often associated with actual Nazis and, even though these young “Republicans” believe the “Holocaust” was obviously faked, being called Nazis makes them the victims of vicious people who use such sick, judgmental terms.  Vicious Jews like me, but what can you expect?  Jews irrationally hate Hitler, Hitler Derangement Syndrome, yo.  Anti-fascism is anti-American terrorism, as anyone but a “woke” Jew, “nigga,” “faggot,” “retard,” woman, Democrat or libtard cuck can understand.

Lawrence O’Donnell, always with an intelligent and unflinching take, tells the story:

[1] from the Politico article linked above

“I am so sorry to those offended by the insensitive and inexcusable language found within the more than 28,000 messages of a private group chat that I created during my campaign to lead the Young Republicans,” he [chat participant Peter Giunta — former chair of the NYS Young Republicans] said. “While I take complete responsibility, I have had no way of verifying their accuracy and am deeply concerned that the message logs in question may have been deceptively doctored.”

“While I take complete responsibility, I have had no way of verifying their accuracy and am deeply concerned that the message logs in question may have been deceptively doctored.”

I’m sure you do, and are, Giunta, and brilliant Nazi blame shifting if-pology, you adorable Nazi fuck.

Gray Lady puffing up a grifting pinhead

The Grey Lady:

Trained in the bare-knuckle arts of New York City real estate, Mr. Kushner and Mr. Witkoff think of themselves as deal guys working for the ultimate deal guy. Their approach is simple: Get to a yes first, and hash out the details later. The two have spent a lot of time together over the past few weeks, crisscrossing Miami, then the country, and now the world, in pursuit of peace. The rebuilding of Gaza is also in their sights.

“The experience that Steve and I have as deal guys is that you have to understand people,” Mr. Kushner said. “You have to be able to kind of get the bottom line out of them, and then see who do you think is playing games, and how much room do you have to push things?”

He added: “A lot of the people who do this are history professors, because they have a lot of experience, or diplomats. It’s just different being deal guys — just a different sport.”

I have no idea why the New York Times is suddenly blowing this corrupt nepo-baby clown, and it’s frankly a bit sickening, but watch the fabulously rich boy genius’s brilliant bit of whining as he snippily answers questions about the last time he and his genius Nobel Prize recipient father-in-law made permanent peace in the Middle East, in spite of facing, according to the seasoned, streetwise “getting to yes” diplomat/deal maker, the recalcitrance of angry, self-pitying, deluded Palestinians perennially too stupid to act in their own best interests (compare — MAGA voters), presumably why they did not participate in the negotiations.

Here’s one of America’s greatest arrogant super-wealthy mediocrities (no offense to the mediocre intended) humbly bragging about having made lasting peace in the Middle East with the Abraham Accords. The first few minutes of this asshole’s responses are priceless, made hilarious by the chyrons that contradict his every talking point.

Why the New York Times took this opportunity, with everything else going on at the moment (including the scandal of peace-loving DJT not winning the Nobel Peace Prize!), to daintily fellate pardoned felon/Ambassador to France Charles Kushner’s well-born son Jared, you’d have to ask the editorial putz who approved the article. Could it have been a friend of Bari Weiss, new $150,000,000 CBS editor-in-chief?

Comedic genius plays to quiet room

This great opening, comic gold, like the new, real 24 karat ornamentation in the Oval Office, was met with restrained laughter from the 800 top US military leaders forced to assemble at Quantico, from around the world, for a speech/photo op by the newly dubbed Secretary of War and the commander-in-chief himself.

As with any comedian, you really need to hear the bit from the comic’s own mouth. The laugh comes from the music of the delivery.

If I were them, I probably wouldn’t have done more than laugh politely either, although personally, not being a military man myself, I find the gag darkly hilterious.  Got to give props to our Genius-in-Chief, whether those stodgy generals and admirals are cool enough to get his sharp sense of humor, after their long, compelled journeys, or not.

Listen to this brilliant deadpan parody of Joe Biden at the debate Mr. T improvised for his audience of 800 military leaders

The master continues his brilliant work, owning the cucks, as he forces them to shut down the government, with some puckish AI and a nice cut and paste of a sombrero and mustache for the hapless brown skinned guy! 

USA!  USA!!!

Here’s Heather will the full story

Stark Raving Mad

Heather Cox Richardson, not AI, describes the speech President Project 2025 delivered at the UN last week:

Trump’s speech went on to depict a fantasy world in which he had single-handedly saved the world. He claimed to have forged peace on two continents during his first term but said that “era of calm and stability gave way to one of the great crises of our time.” He then turned to the United States, claiming that “four years of weakness, lawlessness, and radicalism under the last administration delivered our nation into a repeated set of disasters. One year ago,” he said, “our country was in deep trouble, but today, just eight months into my administration, we are the hottest country anywhere in the world and there is no other country even close. America is blessed with the strongest economy, the strongest borders, the strongest military, the strongest friendships, and the strongest spirit of any nation on the face of the earth.”

And that was the frame for the next hour of rambling boasts and insults.

Trump claimed that he had reversed the “economic calamity” left by former president Joe Biden. He had brought down costs and inflation, he said, and economic growth and manufacturing were both booming. He claimed that in his four years, Biden had attracted less than $1 trillion in investment while he had secured $17 trillion. Tax cuts and deregulation had, he said, made the U.S. “the best country on earth to do business.”

“In my first term, I built the greatest economy in the history of the world,” he said. “We had the best economy ever, history of the world, and I’m doing the same thing again, but this time it’s actually much bigger and even better. The numbers far surpass my record-setting first term.”

Trump claimed: “On the world stage, America is respected again like it has never been respected before. You think about two years ago, three years ago, four years ago, or one year ago, we were a laughingstock all over the world.

source

Nothing to see here! Witch hunt!

Would I be out of line, on the day thousands of the faithful are lining up for a mega-MAGA memorial service for slain MAGA icon Charlie Kirk, to note that these accidentally publicly divulged messages to his “apolitical” Attorney General come off as the ravings of an even whinier version of history’s own Mr. Hitler?

I hasten to add, to be scrupulously fair, that Bill Clinton got off a plane to speak, secretly, with Obama’s US Attorney General while his wife was a candidate trying to illegally steal the US election for president in 2016 after conspiring with George Soros!

One can’t be too careful these days.