Here’s a little story to illustrate what a perfectly reasonable story is made of, particularly in our age of manipulative social media and the algorithms that keep everyone’s eyes glued to their phones to have our biases confirmed over and over, our outrage stoked.   

Here are the elements of a reasonable story:  the setup is something people can relate to, the unfolding tale is something that rings a bell of true life for them, the ending makes perfect sense in light of the rest of it.   If you trust the storyteller, the context of the story is familiar, and emotionally resonant, the story will be perfectly reasonable to most people.   A story that sounds perfectly reasonable, given the culture we live in , leaves you with no real questions.

So, yesterday I went into a big sporting goods store in a mall, a chain store.  There were two greeters at the door, a male and a female.  Neither one acknowledged me as I approached, neither one could be bothered to turn their heads one inch in my direction.  I was walking slowly with a cane, talking to them, and these two fitness models never even turned to look at me.  I wanted to know where the shoe department was.  I was looking for shoes with the greatest possible cushioning, to try to help my painful knees.  

Asking these two for help was like talking to a fucking wall.   I understand they don’t get paid much, probably minimum wage, and they are from a younger generation, one that doesn’t always make eye contact with humans as much as with screens, but I was asking very little of them, almost nothing.  “Excuse me, can you direct me to the shoe department?”

“Hello,” I said, trying to get their attention.  After the third or fourth attempt I got the message loud and clear.  I was very tempted to tell them to go fuck themselves, but just limped off to find the shoe department on my own.   

The salesman who helped me was very nice, and helpful, and I wound up finding a comfortable pair of very cushioning shoes.  I told him about the two greeters who had been so rude, literally pretending to be deaf and blind.  He smiled indulgently, sympathetically, what else could he actually do?

I didn’t hold it against him, there was nothing he could do about his rude colleagues.  He did his job well, made good recommendations, accurately predicted which of the three pairs of shoes he brought out for me to try on I’d wind up buying.  A very nice guy and I’m hopeful the shoes will help ease my painful bone on bone, metal on metal, knee caps.  If not, this chain has a very reasonable return policy of 90 days, as long as I don’t abuse the shoes during that time.  

I completely forgot about those two dick heads by the front door, until I had to pass them again on the way out.  I called out “goodbye” in a loud voice and neither of these robotic pricks so much as turned their heads to acknowledge I was there.

I took their picture before I left, so you can see what we are all up against in the greatest nation Jesus ever personally gave his blessings of peace and freedom, and the Second Amendment, to.