Contempt is the same thing every time anyone experiences it.  Talk to as many people as you like about what it feels like, it always feels the same.  Details leading up to it will vary, but contempt is unmistakable. 

The only people who will fight you to the death about your right to be hurt by having your feelings disregarded, and insist on blaming you for deserving to be treated as they see fit, are the contemptuous.  

As for those deeply damaged folks, seriously, fuck those putos.   Contempt is their problem, you can’t fix ’em, help ’em, save ’em, make them feel any different.  They are fucked, and rightfully so.