Say your sleep is robbed by the daily aching in your prosthetic knee after it hasn’t moved for a few hours. The surgery went perfectly, every surgeon who looks at the beautiful x-ray agrees. You are apparently one of the unlucky tiny percentage who suffer from Highly Successful Surgery Suboptimal Outcome Syndrome and chronic pain and limited ability to walk is something you will have to get used to, asshole. It’s not the surgeon’s problem if you’re unable to heal properly.
On waking you agitatedly consider the nonresponse to the concise, urgent letter you wrote to your urologist seeking clarification on an upcoming surgery that is different, on the presurgical consent form, than the one you discussed and agreed to in his office. You hand delivered the short letter to his office Monday. It is now Thursday, 6 pm. On Monday morning you must get up early and have a battery of presurgical tests, for a surgery you were never informed of, can’t weigh the risks of and certainly never consented to. The internet is a Christmas tree of blinking red lights about the many risks of this changed procedure, one with an alarmingly low success rate that involves shaving the inside of your urethra, lifelong urinary incontinence being but one of its unwanted outcomes (that’s why they make adult diapers, pant load).
Your new urologist is, like most other doctors in America today, an employee of a medical corporation run by vulture capitalists to extract maximum profit from the lucrative sector of human medical anxiety. The name should have been a give away: Psychopath Urology, PLLC. They talk a good game, I do have to give them that. These fuckers are nothing if not adept marketers:
At Psychopath Urology, PLLC, we are dedicated to providing the highest level of urological care to our patients in a friendly, compassionate office environment. Our Practice utilizes state-of-the-art diagnostic equipment, computerized medical records, and office based minimally invasive surgery.
In addition, we are deeply committed to providing expertise in treating urological conditions that specifically affect women with the latest laser techniques that treats vaginal atrophy. We are part of Medical Psychopath Vulture Capital, LLC, the largest group in the nation dedicated to the treatment of urological problems.
A forwarded text I had from my beloved that I saw as soon as I looked at my phone made me immediately shift my focus. A ninety year-old woman we both love and cherish is in bad shape, hooked up to machines fighting to save her from congestive heart failure. This sharp, funny woman is apparently confused (yet still somehow feisty) and very close to death. Her daughter wanted us to know, because we are close to her mom and left her a couple of unanswered messages the last few days. Devastating news. Sekhnet sent me an agonized proposed text to the daughter, I suggested adding this:
Your mother’s feistiness is one of her enduring qualities, along with her great sense of humor, her wisdom, compassion and her deep faith. She does not fear death and has a humble confidence in where she’s going afterwards. Of course we hope she recovers, so we can have more of the love and joy she brings to us. If she does not recover she will soon be in heaven, a beautiful, blessed soul, reunited with those she loved and lost. It’s heartbreaking to us, who love her, but we must take consolation that she knows where she is headed if this is her time to go, the place for all such wonderful souls.
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