Don’t listen to freaks from our shameful hippie past like Robert Reich, there is nothing wrong with the best people in our country having 10,000,000 times more than the lowest low lifes in our country and being able to profit handsomely from their greatness. MAGA won because it has better ideas. Here are just a few:

Eliminating pre-existing conditions from health insurance was pure communism designed to cripple the health insurance industry. So, pre-existing conditions are back. If you’re already sick, don’t come whining about “fairness”, pay what you are required or shut up and die. Health care is not a “right” it’s a privilege you get from your boss, if you work hard enough.

The states should decide, according to local beliefs and customs, if raped eleven year-olds are allowed to have abortions. The Supreme Court, and all elected Republicans, stressed this state sovereignty principle at the time Roe was abolished. To that end, a national ban on abortions. That’s why you gave us a proven fighter for president and a robust majority in the Senate.

Sometimes the so-called racists are right. Who is more deserving to run the country, the richest, smartest, most successful man in the world, and the colorful, controversial son of a famous political leader who was assassinated by a colored person, and Donald Trump, or … you get my point.

Joe Biden was the most corrupt, criminal and dumbest president in history. That’s why he lost, he did nothing but stutter and comically try to hide his dementia. Now we have the least corrupt, most honest and smartest president in history.

So-called climate change is a hoax designed to destroy our greatest corporations by crippling them with expensive regulations. Once those regulations are removed super-storms will stop and this nation will take a giant step toward being great again. There is no reason to believe so-called climate scientists more than the Bible, Exxon and faith.

Homosexuality is banned by the Bible. The punishment for it is death by stoning. The same punishment for women who commit adultery, ye scribes and hypocrites. So saith the Lord.

Women are born to be subservient to men. That is simply God’s will and the natural order for mankind. It’s called mankind for a reason, dummy.

Most liberals are pedophiles.

That so-called Black, so-called female presidential candidate was busy, even while campaigning for an office she was unqualified for, cutting the dicks off young boys in schools, putting dresses on them and sending the poor kids home as girls. This was proved to millions of us real men during the World Series! [1]

She was PERSONALLY cutting the dicks off boys in schools all over the country!

They WERE eating the dogs and eating the cats, hamsters, iguanas, rabbits, snakes, fish, etc.

Giving further tax breaks to the most successful Americans means we’ll all have a better chance of becoming wealthy.

It is essential to have the party with the most committed billionaire donors win every election. This ensures that our most important citizens have proportionately loud voices in our democracy.

In order for a president to faithfully carry out his duties, obviously it’s sometimes necessary to do things that are plainly criminal. In these cases, it is important that the president not be locked in the straitjacket of “law”. Nothing he does while officially trying to make American Great Again can be considered by any criminal grand jury ever. No pardon he sells can ever be challenged as “corrupt”. As Jesus Christ Himself intended.

White men are better than everybody else.

God bless these United Shaysssssh.

[1]

Liberal pedophiles will claim that this is an outrageous lie promulgated to the tune of tens of millions in ad buys ($215,000,000 spent on these ads, according to Brian Tyler Cohen) by billionaire-funded super PACs working to elect Trump, but who are you going to believe, a great, highly memorable ad you’ve seen fifty times, including during the World Series (second only to the Superbowl for market impact and credibility), or somebody who dreams of diddling children in a disgustingly unChristian way?