how’s this for an insight?

integrating  traumatic memories [as opposed to blocking them out]

“People cannot put traumatic events  behind until they are able to acknowledge what happened and start to recognize the invisible demons they are struggling with.”

Too painful for those who can never be wrong to do this, so the trauma can never be understood or dealt with.  They can’t feel or digest the harm they’ve suffered, or face the damage done to them, so they create a superhuman facade and do all the grim things I’ve become so aware of the last few years. They forge this admirable image of strength and solidity to protect their imagined perfection in front of others. Their only other choice, they fear, is utter humiliation. The vulnerability necessary for growth is not an option for them.