Imagine a vexing event from your own life, a time someone treated you badly. Take all the names out and present it to an imagined jury of twelve reasonable citizens, like so:

An overbearing, tyrannical father talking to his college grad son who has moved back home while looking for a job, tells the young man that he knows of a good contact to get into his field, television, writing and media. Then he tells his son that he’s not going to set up a meeting with this excellent lead because “what would that teach you about life?”

In hindsight the adult son knows his father probably knew no such person. Falsely claiming to know him, to be able to help, gave him the power to fuck the son he hated almost as much as he hated himself. So, armed with this knowledge, and a time machine, the son goes back to the original moment of abuse with the father.

“OK, dad, I get what you’re saying. Give me the guy’s name and I’ll do the legwork to get an appointment with him.”

“How would that teach you about pulling yourself up by your own initiative, will and strength of character?”

“By teaching me to help others, when it is within my power, instead of hindering them. Please just give me the guy’s contact info and I’ll take it from there.”

After more tap dancing from his grandiose father, madly insisting that by providing a phantom lead and then hindering him in his moment of need that he is actually building his character, the son comes to the point.

“If you actually know this guy, let me call his office. If you’re lying, what is your fucking problem, father?”

Questions for the Jury:

If the father doubles down with the whole “I’m doing this abusive thing for your own good, son, and I’m right and you’re wrong, no matter what” bullshit, is the son within his rights to get angry?

If so, and the father escalates to yelling, is there a point where the son might be justified in grabbing his father by the front of shirt?

A point where a slap might be in order, with a stern instruction to stop talking?

Is there any point to any of it? Should the son just tell the father to have a nice day and get as far from him as he can?

BUT, he is unemployed and broke. He is living in the abusive father’s house.

Discuss equitable remedies, in light of the requirements of justice.