Finally got myself to call to find out what I actually owe to the hospital that has been so charitably taking care of small matters for me. I was looking to make an appointment to bring my stack of contradictory bills to an Ombudsperson at the hospital. The woman I reached could only deal with bills from “Columbia Doctors”, which was disappointing, since only a fraction come from them, though all services are, admittedly, performed by Columbia Doctors.
“Sir, you won’t let me help you,” said the exasperated woman at the number on the bottom of my medical invoice. She was starting to lose her temper so I became more conciliatory, paused, spoke more softly. She eventually admitted she too would find it frustrating to receive multiple incorrect bills from several related, but completely separate subdivisions of the corporate entity she works for. She herself is a Patient’s Advocate, if only I’d let her help me.
“Sure,” I said, “I’d like you to help me. What can you do for me?”
She eventually came close, I could feel her leaning for a second, to admitting that $507 to see a physician’s assistant, even if she had been helpful (though in my case she wasn’t), did seem a little expensive for the Affordable Care Act, especially seeing as my insurance company had already paid $314 to them for the same services. It turned out the $507 had been billed in error, it was actually currently only $437, as far as she could tell from her end, which didn’t include the $327 in lab fees.
As for an Ombudsperson who could look at all the invoices, she was not aware of the existence of such a person, she was in a billing office somewhere in NJ. I’d need to organize the many duplicative and inconsistent bills from each department and call each separate department to determine the amount I actually owe on each invoice.
“The $100 refund check was not from us, sir, as I already told you several times, except you seem intent on being pissed off instead of letting me help you, we are Columbia Doctors, that check came from New York Presbyterian (formerly Columbia Presbyterian) Hospital. We have nothing to do with them, you have to call another number, as I’ve been trying to explain to you. We are completely different departments.”
Good news for me though: my visit with the clueless physician’s assistant is down from $180 to $110. The $180 bill was an error, they sent it prematurely.
My new macBook, which I bought Monday to complete work for the nonprofit I hope to see thriving in the near future, while it’s unfortunate that it doesn’t seem to work, is under warranty and will be replaced if I drag it down to the store. The one I had refurbished on Monday, and spent hours uploading its former contents to along with multiple updates and fixes last night, now has all but one crucial program working again.
That one crucial program… a mystery, and it’s no longer available on-line. It worked perfectly on Monday, it’s dead on Tuesday. Bring the computer back in, we’ll have a look, says Attila, a nice guy and the first and only one to give me any help over the phone at Tekserve, the independent alternative to the Apple Store.
Wrote this down a few hours ago, while waiting for a promised call back from the manager of Tekserve, which, naturally enough, never came. I should just call and read it into the Moth pitch line answering machine, no?
My father was a brilliant and funny man; he was also a ruthless prick. My sister named him the D.U., the “Dreaded Unit”, and the name was pretty apt. I spent more than 40 years trying to make peace with a father who regarded me as an adversary from the time I was a baby. At around 40 I learned, from an older cousin, of the atrocious abuse my father had endured as a child. It explained a lot, gave me insight and sympathy I hadn’t had before. My story is about our conversation in his hospital room the last night of his life.
In other news, notice arrived today that my internet service is going up by around 30%, they’re sorry they forgot to mention that the $34.99 I’ve been paying was a PROMOTIONAL deal. Starting today It’s only $10 more a month, for the next twelve months, another promotion for a loyal customer like me. The provider’s got a monopoly in this area, the only slower speed option is only $14.99, but its too slow for wireless service. Tiffany was good enough to give me a one-time $10 credit, like a kindly dollop of vaseline for an irritated bung hole. God bless America and the citizen corporations it works for.
I will be heading down to see the motherfuckers at Tekserve again tomorrow, most likely. I am so happy about it, a third trip there in four days, I could shit. Perhaps I’ll wait til I get there.
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