I have to admit, maddening as it may also be, the details of some of my current annoyances  have a certain mad perfection to them.  The devilish invention and sometime symmetry must be admired.

One reason I had such poor sleep the last few nights was that it was probably close to 90 degrees in my apartment.  I need to buy a thermometer, it might surprise me to learn that only 77 or 81 degrees feels like ninety.  Friends had suggestions: call the landlord (it’s 11 pm…) complain to the City (too much heat?  huh?)  put a tray of ice in front of the fan blowing hot air (uh… nah.)

I opened the windows, slept in front of a blowing fan, without blankets or sheets over me, without a shirt, with no socks (my usual winter sleeping accessory) and still it was uncomfortably hot.  The valve on my radiator?  Too hot to handle, and stuck in place anyway.

Last night I fell into a deep, blessed sleep that was interrupted when, three hours before my appointed wake-up, hammering, banging, drilling and stomping began directly over my head.  It persisted vigorously for exactly three hours.  It stopped abruptly right at the time I’d planned to wake up, literally at the time my alarm had been set for.

I noticed it was quiet, as I tried to go about my business, as I waited for a call back about lunch plans.   After learning the lunch appointment was cancelled, and realizing the quiet had gone on long after any lunch break the workers upstairs may have taken, and since even after two cups of coffee I could hardly keep my eyes open, I stretched out to sleep for an hour’s nap.

I fell asleep at once, but less than a minute into my nap, Sekhnet, checking up on me, woke me with a phone call.  

I began to fall asleep again when the sound of a pneumatic drill, or that machine the mechanics use in a garage to remove lug nuts, gave a short burst from the air shaft below my window.   Literally two seconds of very loud mechanical rattattattattat!!!! noise, followed by perhaps three minutes of complete silence.  

Then four or five seconds of the lug nut removal (can’t imagine there are lug nuts down there anywhere) followed by perhaps ninety seconds of silence.  

“What the devil?” I wondered, when a hammering began.  But the hammerer was as fickle and tentative as the guy with the heavy machine.  Three blows, a fourth, then silence.  Maybe it was the same guy?  Words were exchanged in a foreign language.  Perhaps there were two of them?  What the hell were they doing down there?

I began to drift off when “BRRRR!!! BRRRRR!!! BRRRRR!!!!!” sounded again, then two hammer blows.  More consultation in the unknown language.  Silence as they pondered some unknowable mystery.   Hammer, hammer.  Silence, almost asleep again….BRRRRR!!! BRRRRR!!!! BRRRRRRR!  BRR!!! BRRRRR!!!!”

Silence.  Sudden very loud hammer blow, once!  Silence.

My eyes are crossing as I type these words.  I wonder why I am typing at all.  I am too tired to wonder very hard.  I am thinking about what’s next, what infernally ingenious, fiendishly customized and ridiculous petty annoyance will the universe come up with for me?   It’s sure to be a cool one, and perfect for me.  Stay tuned.