Drown ’em– or at least Waterboard ’em

by oinsketta

The U.S. Postal Service, in this instance.

“Your call is very important to us.  Did you know there is a difference between Regular, Certified and Regular Certified Mail?  It’s true.  You can find this interesting information and much more at

http://www.gofuckyourselfwhileyou’reonhold.com

or please continue to hold while we experience more than usual call volume and wait times are expected to exceed one hour.  Or visit us at http://www.suckourcollectiveass.com to learn about more ways the US Post Office is working hard to make things better for you without hiring additional qualified personnel.  Please continue to hold, your business is so important to us we’ve formed a partnership with Fed Ex to serve you even better.  Did you know there is a difference between Regular, Certified and Regular Certified Mail?  It’s true!”

I wrote an email, to my landlord’s automated “helpline”, while listening to this over and over:

I am the tenant in apt. __  at __   _____.  I left a message with Marjorie earlier today and am following up with this email. I’m working on getting my December rent check, mailed weeks ago, back to you ASAP.  
 
The post office returned my December rent check to me on Saturday, in the envelope you provided, slightly crushed, with your address clearly visible and the stamp cancelled.  (see attachments)   [I sent them photos, recto and verso– ed.]  They sent it back to me, instead of to you, the Postmaster said, because “We Care”.   Aggravating to say the least.
 
I just found out that overnight UPS, via the Post Office (only way to deliver to a PO Box) is $32.  I am on hold with the Post Office now, the ones who screwed this up in the first place. So far I’ve been on hold for almost 40 minutes.  Now I’m five minutes into a third wait for a supervisor, requesting a voucher for the price of having this delivered.  So far they’ve offered to let me stand on line at my local post office at the height of the Christmas shipping season so they can correct their mistake.
 
I was fairly confident the Post Office would  offer no help in this matter, even before I was just “transferred” to a supervisor, and my 39 minute call was cut off.
 
If there is a physical office I can deliver this check to (I recall I used to send these to an address at Penn Plaza), I can deliver it to you tomorrow, Wednesday or Friday.
Please advise,
Blah Blah Woof Woof

Leave a comment