Phone and internet service go out in early May. The technician who arrives on May 9 informs me that the problem is in a main cable, effecting many customers in the area. A May 10 robocall (text below) informs me that this could take two weeks to fix. What the pleasant recording didn’t say is that it could also take more than ten weeks, or six months.

Calls to Verizon are answered by a recording that informs you, in late May, in June, in July, that a service call for your number is scheduled for May 9 and that if you’d like to change it, press a number. When you eventually reach a human to inquire about when service is going to be restored, they tell you that they have to contact technical services and that technical services will call back the following day. Technical services never calls back. Nor do any of the supervisors who promise to find out why it’s been five, seven and nine weeks with no service.

The only communications from Verizon are the monthly bills, including late charges for nonpayment of no service. A supervisor tells me the bills must be paid and that Verizon will reimburse customers for the months of no service. She also admits that the time to lay new cables could be between three and six months.

I eventually call to cancel the service and have the account zeroed out. I get into a conversation with a sympathetic employee named Mrs. Moore, who expresses her concern as a Verizon consumer and tells me she’d like to get me an answer about when service will be restored. She asks me to hold while she contacts the technical department. I tell her it’s pointless, but I hold a moment and she returns, promises that a supervisor from the technical department will call the following day. She also tells me she’ll call back to verify that they called, and find out what they told me.

“Mrs. Moore, I’m sure you will understand my skepticism. I don’t expect a call from any supervisor. Verizon, by hiding information this way, even from its employees, is committing fraud to try to retain customers. Understandable behavior from a corporation, but despicable. I’ll give them and you 24 hours to tell me the true story, but I’m not expecting it. So cancel my account at the end of business tomorrow.” We’d discussed the usefulness in emergency of a copper wire phone line. The possibility that they were repairing these antiquated lines was the only reason not to close and then reopen an account, with associated fees and a new phone number.

She promises to do this, and assures me she’ll call me to follow up. Surprisingly, she actually does, leaving a voicemail the following day at 4, one a few days later, and then the following Saturday she invites me to call the 800 number if I want to close my account at Verizon.

Have a very nice day.

text of Verizon’s 5/10 robocall:

“… caused by a cable failure, and cable failures take time to repair…. hello, this is Verizon. We apologize for the disruption in your service and we are working diligently to restore it as soon as possible. Unfortunately, your service disruption was caused by a cable failure and cable failures take time to repair. As a result, we are targeting to restore your service in approximately two weeks. We would like to offer you a Verizon voice temporary solution device while we repair your service. The device utilizes wireless technology and is provided at no cost to you, so long as you return it to us after we restore your service If you are interested in our voice temporary solution device, please contact us at 855-287-8238 Thank you for your continued patience and for choosing Verizon, goodbye.”