It’s hard to know, sometimes, whether your view of a situation is colored by the lens you view it through or if the situation simply is that color.   The same situation can be perceived very differently by those who are in it.   She was focused, direct and professional; she was hard-edged and ambitious to the edge of ruthlessness.  She was pleasant and good humored; she was superficial, forced and impatient.  All of the above also may be true.  All of the above may also make no difference one way or the other, if her offer is of value.

I throw another style of viewing things into the mix: the wishful thinking view.  A disadvantage of this style is that it is based in best case scenario thinking rather than on a practical, unemotional evaluation of actual likely outcomes.  An advantage of the wishful thinking viewer, for those so inclined, is how easily it can be converted into a whip, already in hand and poised closest to where it will hurt the most.

This is not meant in any way to contradict the wise idea that it is far better to look at a thing without fear, and with compassion.  It’s clearly better to be in the moment as much as possible and not distracted by the many thoughts that may be pressing their way in.  

The best way to look at things is as you would like to be looked at yourself, as you would like to consistently see yourself.  Hard, yes, and finding your way there without a good map or recipe, good luck.  Sadly (or happily) I have no map or recipe, other than throwing things into the mix and trying to see clearly, and act accordingly, as often as I can.