I am, truly.  No reason to be shocked, life is all about the sell.  Why else do people smile?

You see, it is serious business, and wonderful business.  No reason to look at it like it’s some kind of brutal, stinking thing dead of rabies, or worse, still alive, foaming jaws working sharp, glittering teeth.   Advertising is not like that mortally wounded German soldier creeping toward his gun as the heroic American turns his attention to saving the life of his comrade. No need for the audience to clench, ready to scream “watch out, Sarge!” as the Kraut wearily but determinedly raises his Luger.

Think of it this way: ads don’t only sell poison, they can just as easily sell things worth selling.   Democracy?  A beautiful thing, why not an ad to sell it?   Generosity? A wonderful value, sell it with a heartwarming ad.  You see what I’m saying? And if the ad works, and millions see it and are moved by it to take some action, kick in ten bucks, say, you have a flourishing business to advance the original terrific idea.  Many employed working to make the dream a reality, all because of an ingenious ad machine, like me, somewhere in the picture.

Nothing whatsoever dirty about being an advertising machine, and I mean that sincerely.  In fact, I’d be willing to wage an unlimited war against everybody in the world, and kill all of them, to prove how sincerely I believe in the human’s God given right to influence fellow humans through advertising.  In fact, I’m going to create a life-affirming ad right now, as soon as I get this other important business squared away, and shower, shave, eat, wash the dishes.

God bless.