If it’s music we’re talking about, the first thing is listening.  Don’t do anything at first, listen to the beat.   There are many places to put a note, a beat, an accent;  against the beat, on the beat, next to the beat, slightly off the beat.   The first thing though, is to feel the groove that is waiting to emerge from the beat.

The groove is not the beat, it’s all the stuff around it that makes the beat groove.  Check it out.  One note put in the exact place to make the head jerk forward slightly, or one of the hands to unconsciously, or consciously, flick an invisible, or visible, drumstick.   It sets the groove in motion, wait for it… AH! oh, yeah, that’s what I’m talking about.

I think this is a wonderful metaphor for a good life and playing nicely with the people you meet.  Before you can say something helpful you have to have heard what the person is really trying to say.   Thinking back, many times I could have been more helpful if I’d listened better, and paused to listen to my own thoughts, before launching into a particular solo.