A Million Reasons for Fear

You can use infinitely elastic hypotheticals to keep yourself endlessly worried and afraid.  I’ve seen it done, and trying to argue against it is like arguing against the wind.

The things to be afraid of can be listed, the list might be long.  But the real fear is the thing to be afraid of that you didn’t put on the list, the insane thing that violates the known laws of the universe that could really put the hurt on you, did you ever stop to think of that?

No, of course you didn’t.  You think nothing can hurt you, which is the first principle of hubris.

As I told many a poor bastard I represented in Housing Court “The threat of losing your home is very scary and I know it’s hard not to worry about it.  But I’ve done this many times, your case is like many others I’ve worked on, and every one of those cases worked out well.  It’s aggravating that it’ll probably take months to resolve, but I’ll get all the time we need from the judge and, in the end, the chances are  99% in your favor that it will be fine, this will be over and you won’t have the threat of losing your home– which is what I’m here to prevent— hanging over you.  Try not to worry until I tell you there’s something to worry about, that the 1% chance of something to worry about might happen, and that day will probably never come.”

On the other hand, you could be hit by a car fifteen minutes from now and after hours lying on the street with your spinal fluid leaking out finally get picked up by an ambulance crew high on crystal meth, some insane rogue team of cannibals who sodomize you instead of taking you to the hospital and then, after urinating on you, leave you to die overnight in an abandoned industrial park where the rats will begin working on you before you’re even dead.  Did you ever think of that?  Of course not.

I rest my case.

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