It was Monday and massive Hurricane Sandy was poised to make landfall at around 8 pm.  At 7:15 pm I received the following email:

subject:  Club Behavior and Discipline

Behavioral issues have come up in a few of the clubs, so I wanted to share with you what parents received regarding disruptive behavior at the onset of the program. Although we haven’t been removing disruptive kids from clubs, as you can see below, if a child is repeatedly disruptive in your club, you are to send them to me in the office where they are to spend the remainder of the club time and their parents will be notified. Please keep my cell phone number (below) handy and either call me or have your assistant call me.

We recommend that you set up behavior expectations, e.g. sitting and listening, no wrestling, no yelling, at the beginning of your club and explain what the consequences will be if a child fails to behave as they would in class. Clearly articulating your expectations and the consequences if they do not behave properly will help the children understand later when they are being reprimanded.

WHAT IF MY CHILD IS DISRUPTIVE DURING THE CLUB?
We will not tolerate children who are disruptive or disrespectful to teachers, assistants, and/or other
children. The first time a child is disrespectful or disruptive, they will be removed from their club
and must spend the remainder of the club time in the office with our Club Coordinator, and their
parents will be notified. A second occurrence will result in the child being prohibited from attending
their club for the remainder of the semester with NO refund of fees.

Children MUST respect ALL SCHOOL AND CLUB EQUIPMENT. Any willful destruction of 
property will result in a child being prohibited from continuing with a club with parents liable for the
cost of damages.

On a related note, we are a team in the meeting/dismissal room #205. Of course you are expected to keep order of your club members, but if you witness ANY children, even if they are not in your club, yelling, running around, jumping on furniture or anything of the like, please use your authority to step in. Thanks!

That someone was composing this note about reprimands and authority as a destructive storm was moving in would seem to speak for itself.   Oddly, this email was not sent to me by the glaring bald headed man who strode into the noisy room where the children wait for their parents at 5:00 after 8 hours in school.  This man was clearly unhappy that kids were blowing off steam by making such a racket.  The email was probably written at his request.

We knew each other at once, with the quickest of glances, the way any random mongoose and any equally random cobra instantly know each other.  He was the most important man in the building and I was a man playing music in the corner with another adult while children shrieked,  a man who did not break off his conversation to recognize the clear fact of this imperious man’s importance.  

In my defense, I’d never seen the man before.   In his defense, guys like me…. well, there’s really no defense necessary there.   This is a fellow who makes the rules, who demands excellence, not nuanced excuses.

America builds prisons, passes laws, makes threats and wars to insure that people who do not respect our institutions are punished accordingly.   We do not reward failure.  Many believe the best president for our troubled nation is a successful businessman, not some Harvard educated lawyer who sees the endless complexity of major problems and is clever at making speeches.  The bottom line is the bottom line and the successful businessman’s Harvard law degree has nothing to do with it.

On the other hand, if children are treated with respect, and the program is designed to insure that they are engaged, and content, the likelihood that we need to threaten, reprimand or punish them is greatly reduced.

On the other hand, look around, there are many examples.   If you randomly prohibit certain drugs and impose long jail sentences for infractions, there’s a lot of money to be made by certain people along with a lot of pain for the masses of imprisoned users of the randomly prohibited drugs, not to mention victims of organized crime’s drug trade-related violence.   Nothing wrong with money, my friends, even if the war against certain drugs is an arbitrary, ridiculous, expensive and increasingly deadly failure.  

The attitude, of course:  as for people who hate our freedom, I tell you what, there’s no reason to have any mercy on their freedom-hating souls.

Still, I can’t help thinking that smart people can work together to design and implement things better than this system we have.  I understand that most smart people have other priorities, but, call me a dreamer.  There has got to be at least one better way forward than this.