Category Archives: “funny”

Trumpie seeks another writ of mandamus

He had his lawyers file papers in Georgia Supreme Court to force the Fulton County DA to stop her criminal investigation, remove her from his case, and suppress all of the evidence she has gathered, forever. To seek this extraordinary relief his lawyers had to argue that he has “a clear and indisputable right to the [extraordinary] relief requested” and that there was a serious error in the court below not granting this extraordinary relief.

There was no error and the extraordinary relief requested is only available if there is no other avenue to justice available and several conditions are all met. None of the conditions have been met. Trumpie caused another completely frivolous set of legal papers to be filed, wasting everyone’s time with vexatious delay, using the court as an offensive weapon.

To understand how ridiculous Trumpie’s request for a writ of mandamus is, see the dissent in MAGA Judge Neomi Rao’s erroneous ruling granting Mike Flynn the same extraordinary relief, to which he was also not entitled. Rao was appointed by Trumpie himself to fill the smelly seat on the DC Circuit Court of Appeals recently occupied by the supremely entitled, gassy Boof Kavanaugh.

In her highly deferential opinion, Rao states the law she is about to ignore (before being roundly reversed on appeal):

For this court to grant a writ of mandamus, “the right to relief must be ‘clear and indisputable’; there must be ‘no other adequate means to attain the relief’; and ‘the issuing court, in the exercise of its discretion, must be satisfied that the writ is appropriate under the circumstances.’” In re Cheney, 544 F.3d 311, 312–13 (D.C. Cir. 2008)

Here is very detailed description of the corruption of Trumpie’s first attempt to get Flynn’s guilty plea thrown out. It contains the dissent’s excellent description of what is required for a writ of mandamus and why none of those factors were present for Flynn. No matter what his new attorney, Sidney Powell, or corrupt religious blowhard Bill Barr had to say to the contrary.

Unfortunately for Trumpie, judges are still constrained by the law, until they reach the Supreme Court, of course. Even then, they cannot always wipe their asses with the Constitution. They need carefully constructed Federalist Society-hatched fact-specific cases, lawsuits brought to selected Federalist Society judges for particular outcomes. When these selected cases make their way up to the Supreme Court, where the majority, if sufficiently partisan, may wipe their collective asses with the Constitution. Trumpie’s desperate, frivolous filing is not such a case.

The woke mob goes after another beloved icon

Remember, serial drugger/rapist Bill Cosby got out of jail because a future Trump impeachment lawyer, Bruce Castor, gave him an immunity deal years earlier and some of what he said under this immunity deal was used against him at trial. MAGA gaga. Go eat some more Jello pudding, Bill.

Bill Cosby’s 2018 sexual-assault conviction was thrown out by Pennsylvania’s highest court on Wednesday, and Cosby was released from prison shortly after. The ruling was the product of a deal Cosby had made with a district attorney in 2005 in which the prosecutor promised Cosby he wouldn’t be charged in a case involving Andrea Constand, a former Temple University employee who accused Cosby of drugging and sexually assaulting her in 2004.

That prosecutor — Bruce Castor, then the Montgomery County district attorney — made headlines this year when he represented former President Donald Trump in his second impeachment trial.

Under the terms of his deal with Cosby, Castor asked the disgraced comedian to testify in a civil lawsuit filed by Constand in exchange for avoiding prosecution.

Pennsylvania’s Supreme Court on Wednesday ruled that Castor’s deal with Cosby should have prevented Cosby from being charged in the case, which ultimately landed him behind bars

source

Imagine the horror

A couple you always thought of as your closest friends, a friendship you never questioned, are acting oddly distant to each other during a vacation in a beautiful rented house. After a few days, tensions are turned on you and one of them rages at you, glaring with a laser beam of hostility for long minutes, in a display of anger you haven’t seen since your father was alive. You endure a sleepless night after a door is angrily closed.

In the morning your friend drags his wife out to apologize to you. She is humiliated, apologizes with enough caveats to render the apology meaningless. While she is apologizing your friend coldly observes that you catalogue and remember every offense everybody’s ever committed against you, in spite of your claim to the contrary.

You spend an entire year afterwards, agonizing about why it is so hard to make peace with these two suddenly implacable friends. They are intent on never talking about anything, acting like everything is fine. Everything would be fine, they insist, if you’d only shut up. In the end, after months of silence and ongoing displays of indignation and anger, one of them suggests mediation.

Mediation, of course, can only work when both parties are interested in compromising. Here there can be no compromise: the only solution is that you are a hurt child who cannot accept that people who love you sometimes act in an abusive way. They are planning on the professional, impartial mediator being able to point out to you that you are acting like a hurt child and that you must act like an adult.

The proof of this is that they will agree to nothing prior to mediation. You point out that the mediator can only work with the facts we provide, the things we agree about, the things we disagree about. The mediator must know our respective positions. Although you are clearly in a terrible conflict, you are hard pressed to identify positions beyond “I’m hurt” “No you’re not!”. Instead of agreeing to a set of facts, your friends fight you like devils until you are literally banging your head against the wall.

It becomes clear that mediation will not help. You tell them so. They respond with another month of silence. One rainy Friday afternoon you get a phone call from your one time close friend telling you that his therapist told him he must tell you that he is not willing to be responsible for fixing things. He wants to be friends, he says, but he’s not going to take responsibility for fixing a broken friendship. After a moment of honesty on your part he tells you he’s going to hang up the phone now.

Now comes the horror: everybody you know in common accepts the story that you are an unreasonable, childish, unforgiving sadist with a pathological need to upset people by acting like an immature, self-righteous asshole. Not only did you refuse to accept numerous apologies, not only did you keep venting the same babyish anger over and over, you rejected a good faith offer for mediation and, in the end, when your friend gave one last effort to make you understand how much you were loved, in spite of being such a difficult person, you used the f-word and the c-word. What kind of fucking cunt does that make you, pal?