Category Archives: “funny”

You can’t argue with Nazis

A Nazi has a closed mind and a simple, even if irrational, explanation for everything. They will repeat their mantra over and over again in response to any point you try to raise. It is futile to argue with Nazis, but it is essential to persuade anybody who is not a Nazi that Nazis are fucking Nazis.

If you are anti-Nazi, you might as well ask a Nazi why they never investigated Hunter Biden for taking $2 billion from the murderous Saudi dictator while Hunter’s father was the president of the United States. Or why their partisan six-year investigation into Hunter and the new Benghazi Commission for grounds to impeach Joe, based on a reliable source (now indicted) who spouted Putin‘s hand fed propaganda, does not turn up the heat to the boiling point to finally lower the boom on the evil Hunter Biden, and the hundreds of viciously anti-Christian billionaire Jews (not to mention Chinese communists and Ukrainian fascists) who prop him up.

If somebody’s last word in every discussion is a variation on “I will never listen to you, asshole, no matter what, because I am right and you suck cocks in hell, along with your so-called facts” I would say it’s time to talk to somebody else. You cannot persuade somebody who is a Nazi that there is anything wrong with being a Nazi. Anybody who can’t see that there is something wrong with being a Nazi is a fucking Nazi.

My best advice, once you see a door is closed with a fanatical insistence on the door slammer’s righteousness, and the endlessly asserted claim that you are a completely delusional asshole, if not also a poisonous fucking Jew, see that closed door as a very good thing and keep on walking.

Trump Riddle for a Saturday afternoon

Here’s one I really don’t get. Trump claims to be a mega-successful billionaire business genius. We know that’s a lie by how many millions of dollars he lost every year (take for example the $916 million in business losses he wrote off on his 1995 taxes), how virtually all of his ventures failed and/or were shut down for fraud, and how many times he declared bankruptcy. We all know he’s the most “transactional” president of all-time. He claims to be worth many billions.

He took cartons full of valuable classified documents down to his gaudy Florida resort after being dragged kicking and screaming out of the White House. Putin would have gladly paid a billion for a pile of military secrets, so would Muhammed Bin Salman, or Trump’s North Korean BFF, or, for that matter, Hitler, if he was still alive. Trump would have had no hesitation to make deals with any of them, since everything is simply a transaction with him.

What happened to the money?

If he made the lucrative business deals anyone would assume he would have by selling the valuable government secrets, he wouldn’t be scrambling to put up bond for the over one half billion he owes as the result of recent court verdicts against him. He’d peel off that money from a fat billfold, announce confidently that he was going to win on appeal, and tell everybody to fuck off.

Leading to the obvious question: what happened to the money, Trumpie?

A Moment of Trumpenfreude 

A great one by Paul Krugman. We can talk about yesterday’s vote by at least four unaccountable, craven, fake Christian, extremist judicial fraternity member lockstep fascists later, this one is much more fun to consider.

OK, I have to admit it: I’m enjoying the spectacle of Donald Trump begging for a delay in the $454 million fine he’s required to pay for fraudulently inflating his net worth, for two reasons.

First, his inability to come up with the cash basically confirms the charges: He isn’t as rich as he claims to be. Second, his evident inability to get anyone to lend him the money is poetic justice for a man who has a history of bilking gullible investors.

One small addition to the Trumpenfreude: A GoFundMe set up to help Trump pay his bills has so far managed to raise about a third of 1 percent of the amount he owes.

You do have to wonder about how this will affect his psychological state. Trump’s speeches have become increasingly incoherent lately — a trend that has attracted sufficient attention that a few days ago he felt compelled to respond, telling an audience: “There’s no cognitive problem. If there was, I’d know about it.”

I think I’ll just leave that there.

A Moment of Trumpenfreude

Alabama finds fertilized frozen egg is human life

The sordid history of the ignorant yet calculated movement of bigoted political domination by America’s most militant white Christians (sometimes called Christian Dominionism) is laid out here by the great Heather Cox Richardson .  I’m just adding a few telltale stats that should be noted in relation to the Alabama Supreme Court’s decision that a fertilized egg that is then frozen is human life and anyone who destroys such a human life maybe held criminally liable, essentially for murder.  If a state like Alabama leads the way in enforced so-called Christian morality, heaven help us!

Alabama ranks third in the nation for highest infant mortality rates. The only two states with higher infant mortality rates are number two Arkansas, and America’s greatest state, Mississippi, in the number one position as far as most deaths of newborns. In fairness to both sides, it must be said, of course, that this is according to the CDC, a government agency that Jesus Christ himself long ago warned is full of lying commie cucks, who will do anything to make good Christians look bad. infant mortality rates US states

Alabama ranks fifth in the nation for highest rates of child poverty. Once again, Mississippi leads the pack. child poverty by state

In terms of education, Alabama does much better, coming in at #44 out of 50, a respectable sixth from the bottom. In this case, Mississippi, at #41, beats them, being nine from the bottom. Education by state

Per capita murder in the state of Alabama, which is double the rate of rootin’ tootin’ Texas, is the third highest in the country. Once again, Mississippi makes them look a little better by comparison. Murder by state

In terms of executions, Alabama kicks Mississippi’s ass, by a margin of two to one! Executions by state.

A word to out of state men visiting Alabama: avoid jerking off in your motel room. While killing a spurt of sperm cells might not technically qualify as murder, it could be seen as assault with a deadly weapon. I would advise you to consult with a pious Christian expert like MAGA Mike fucking Johnson about this before randily reaching for the old johnson. Peace out.

Resolved, Trump’s “ring” is delicious!

If you have any doubt about what the Republican party represents going into to the 2024 election, and who controls their every vote, there is a one page document that will remove that doubt. You can read the last GOP party platform in less than a minute, simply skip the few Whereas clauses which set out the “reasons” they are not adopting a platform setting out their principles and policy goals in the Age of Trump, and cut to the chase:

RESOLVED, That the Republican Party has and will continue to enthusiastically support the
President’s America-first agenda;
RESOLVED, That the 2020 Republican National Convention will adjourn without adopting a
new platform until the 2024 Republican National Convention;
RESOLVED, That the 2020 Republican National Convention calls on the media to engage in
accurate and unbiased reporting, especially as it relates to the strong support of the RNC for
President Trump and his Administration; and
RESOLVED, That any motion to amend the 2016 Platform or to adopt a new platform, including
any motion to suspend the procedures that will allow doing so, will be ruled out of order.

read the entire one page Trump platform here

Comer’s star “witness” in Biden impeachment indicted for giving false testimony to FBI

The New York Times continues:

The special counsel investigating Hunter Biden has charged a former F.B.I. informant with fabricating claims that President Biden and his son sought two $5 million bribes from a Ukrainian energy company, according to an indictment in a California federal court.

The former informant, Alexander Smirnov, 43, was accused of falsely telling the F.B.I. that Hunter Biden, then serving as a paid member on the board of Burisma, demanded the money to protect the company from an investigation by the country’s prosecutor general at the time.

The story Mr. Smirnov told investigators was part of a series of explosive and unsubstantiated claims by Republicans that the Bidens engaged in potentially criminal activity — allegations central to the party’s efforts to impeach the president.

The Special Counsel, another traitorous RINO appointed by the radical Merrick Garland to investigate a Biden, is a Donald Trump appointee, (like Robert Hur, who gratuitously, but effectively, slimed Joe Biden just the other day). Proof that even the infallible former/present/future party leader makes mistakes. Who among us has a crystal ball that can always accurately see the future?

Goddamn it, Grey Lady!

Can you spot the New York Timesisms here? 

The New York Times continues:

“The Biden campaign has built its strategy around telling voters that the November election is a choice between the president, whatever doubts the public has about his age, and an opponent in Mr. Trump, 77, whom they paint as a threat to democracy and personal freedoms.“

Fair is fair, it is the centerpiece of Biden campaign strategy to paint Trump as a threat to democracy and personal freedoms. It is a two billion dollar  campaign strategy to portray Trump, an ordinary political candidate for president with an unremarkable history, mounting a typical reelection campaign, as some kind of existential threat. Calling him a threat as part of an attack ad campaign, like they all do.

Fair is fair, the Trump appointee who Merrick Garland appointed special counsel to investigate Joe Biden’s handling of classified documents, made comments well beyond the scope of his brief — which was to determine if Biden had or had not committed a crime related to taking government documents. Hur (no relation to Ben) determined that Biden could not be prosecuted and then opined, gratuitously as this blahg you are reading now, that Biden is perhaps in too feeble a mental state to have even been able to form any kind of plan to commit the crimes. No jury would convict such a feeble, doddering, sad, amiable but pitiable old man who barely knew what was going on, added Hur in his final report.  You know how the DOJ always like to include a little gossipy stuff in their official reports, spill a  little tea, like cattily opining about people’s fitness for their elected position and the political reasons to doubt their abilities. 

NY Times, taking the ball and running with it, along with the rest of corporate media.

Or as Biden ad libbed the other day at that news conference where he was angry at special counsel Trump appointee Hur being out of line and working in the interests of a political opponent:

FOX reporter: Are you having problems with your memory?

Biden: I must be, I’m taking a question from you.

Isn’t that right, Grey Lady?